IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The given pie charts compare the expenses in 7 different categories in 1966 and 1996 by American Citizens.Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information below

The given pie charts compare the expenses in 7 different categories in 1966 and 1996 by American Citizens.Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information below
#expenses #categories #american #citizens #report #university #lecturer #information
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The provided pie charts compare the proportion of seven different categories, food,
cars
Use synonyms
, petrol, restaurants, furniture, computers and books, in the year
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
1966 and 1996 by
American
Use synonyms
 Residents.
Overall
Linking Words
, Americans spent a large section of money on food in 1966.
By comparison
Linking Words
,
their
Change the word
the
show examples
 majority expending
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 comprised of
cars
Use synonyms
 in 1996. In 1966,
American
Use synonyms
 Citizens spent 44%
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 food, which was the largest sector of their expenditure. The
second
Linking Words
 largest sector was
cars
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 composed 23% of the total annual spending.
While
Linking Words
 computers had only 1%, petrol had nearly one in ten (9%)
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the same time. Furniture had one in ten (10%); it was followed by restaurants, which had 7%,
while
Linking Words
 the
third
Linking Words
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 books, with 6%. In 1996, the composition of spending altered dramatically compared to that of 1966.
American
Use synonyms
 Citizens spent on
cars
Use synonyms
 constituted the largest section of the annual expenditure,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
more
Add a missing verb
is more
show examples
 than
two fifths
Add a hyphen
two-fifths
show examples
 (45%). The percentage of
American
Use synonyms
 citizens spending on restaurants had doubled from 7% in 1966 to 14% in 1996. Spending on books was highest in 1966, at 6%.
By contrast
Linking Words
, there was no significant change in the proportions of petrol and furniture.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words cars, american with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "compare" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: