IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Each year, the crime rate increases. What are the causes of crime and what could be done to prevent this rise in criminal activity?

#year #crime #rate #increases #rise #activity
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There
is
Suggestion
are
 an increasing number of crimes committed every year.
This
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 essay suggests that unemployment and lack of
awareness
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 are the main causes of the issue and submits adding more job field and encouraging behaviour related
campaign
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 as the most viable prevention methods. The
first
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 principal cause of more criminal activities being carried out each year is the abundant number of unemployed people struggling to make a living. These people need cash to fulfil basic needs, especially if they have families to support, and if the struggle continues, these people will have no choice but to commit
crime
Use synonyms
 in order to survive.
For example
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, a recent survey conducted by Brooklyn Police Station shows that 78% of convicted subway burglars were jobless and admitted that they need money for their basic needs. The
second
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 main cause is the incapability of the culprits to be more aware of the effects of the actions carried out. Many people do
crime
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 just for fun and as a medium of entertainment.
For instance
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, abandoned subways in Detroit often become the domain of illegal graffiti artists.
In addition
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 to spray painting the walls, these people
also
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 hit the building and destroy it,
then
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 leave a note that indicates that the actions were done for fun. The most practical solutions to
this
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 are providing more employment for people and doing
campaign
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 about raising self
awareness
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. More work field means more employment chance and more people will get their needs fulfilled.
Moreover
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, the
campaign
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 supported by government has a goal to educate the community about the danger of
crime
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 in hope to
also
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 raise their
awareness
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 at the end. Australia is a great example,
crime
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 related campaigns are held every week to teach parents and children about
crime
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 and
this
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 has resulted in Australia having one of the lowest
crime
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 rate in Asia. In conclusion,
this
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 essay believes that high unemployment rate and little insight about the bad effects of
crime
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 contribute the most to increasing
crime
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 number. It
also
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 suggested opening more work field and supporting
crime
Use synonyms
awareness
Use synonyms
campaign
Use synonyms
 as the best solutions.
Submitted by livaniangelyn19 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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