Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

#people #life #money

Its

Suggestion

It's

better to cry in a Mercedes than living happily without it. With

advancement

Suggestion

the advancement

of technologies and more source of

investement

the act of investing; laying out money or capital in an enterprise with the expectation of profit

investment

, people

tends

Suggestion

tend

to have a knack for

materialistics

marked by materialism

materialistic

materialists

facilities and luxuries.

This

leads to the saying of money is the only way to happiness.

Nowadays with

Accept comma addition

Nowadays, with

enourmous upgradation

Suggestion

the enormous upgradation

enormous upgradation

of technologies

Accept space

few sections of people

tends

Suggestion

tend

to have a slight inclination towards

materialistics

marked by materialism

materialistic

happiness. Social

medias

a means or instrumentality for storing or communicating information

media

, peer pressure are some of the examples which made common masses believe that there cannot be

other

any of various alternatives; some other

another

source of happiness except monetary.It may give us a thought why few sections of people believes that monetary satisfaction is the ultimate one. I feel that its due to plethora of new sources of financial investments that allures us to look forward a

luxorious

displaying luxury and furnishing gratification to the senses

luxurious

and satisfying life. Perhaps, huge amount of money may give us a sense of security in later stages of life so that one can spend the rest of their lives independently. Masses from the middle strata or lower strata of the society raised in childhood in hunger and financial crisis. It is quite normal to run behind

money which

Accept comma addition

money, which

may give them and their family to

fulfill

put in effect

fulfil

their daily needs. Happiness is a state of mind and it differs from person to person. Some people are not happy after earning

crores

while some

remains

Suggestion

remain

satisfied by dedicating their lives for the sake of common people. In our lives of daily grinding and running in a rat race, it is more important to achieve peace and contentment which may give us the naked source of being happy. Other than

this

I would like to add that contribute to social

cause be

Accept comma addition

cause, be

it helping unfortunates, providing hand to have a clean environment and society for us and others to live. Several yogis, saints are

Suggestion

peace with normal and simplified living.

Its

Suggestion

It's

upto

Suggestion

up to

us what we want to choose in our life.

Submitted by dassumit.ece on Thu Sep 05 2019

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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1Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

318 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Financial security
Basic needs
Comfort
Luxury
Freedom
Altruistic
Philanthropy
Nurturing relationships
Fulfillment
Sense of accomplishment
Physical well-being
Spiritual beliefs
Community involvement
Gratitude
Mindfulness
Simple pleasures

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Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Fully explain your ideas

Nowadays, more and more business meetings and business training are taking place online. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

In some countries young people are encouraged to travel or work for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this .

Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of online learning.

Individuals can do nothing to improve the environment; only governments and large companies can make a difference. To what extent do you agree or disagree?