School Teachers are more responsible for social and intellectual development of students than parents. To what extent do you agree and disagree?

The personality conformation of our students, including different aspects is affected by dealing with closest
persons mainly
Accept comma addition
persons, mainly
, parents and teachers
specially
to a distinctly greater extent or degree than is common
especially
during the school years.
This
issue is tremendously obvious, that the beloved, kind and open-minded
teacher
greatly affects the
perceptual
Suggestion
perception
and social growth of his students, far more than his parents. Indeed, the
conformational
age of the students is extremely important. Many habits are settled in the child's behaviour
then
. As well, many skills are acquired from his closest
community which
Accept comma addition
community, which
includes parents, teachers and
freinds
a person you know well and regard with affection and trust
friends
. These aspects could
last
long
Suggestion
longer
with a good shaping
effect but
Accept comma addition
effect, but
sometimes lead to disastrous conflicts with bad upcoming consequences. Parents, actually, are the basic programmers of the child's behaviour. Since they are intimately attached to him, together with
the more time
Suggestion
the most time
more time
spent.
However
, because of the rising busy lifestyle nowadays, time became an obstacle rather than a privilege. Sometimes, the
parents
Suggestion
parents'
behaviour and psychological construction
affects
Suggestion
affect
their role with their siblings.
This
may lead to forward inevitable problems. So,
although
the foundation of the child's personality comes from home, it is definitely not enough for development. As for the small community of the
school students
Accept comma addition
school, students
,
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
believe that the model
teacher
is greatly needed. All of us had a one beloved
teacher
when we were young, who helped us to face the outer world and to struggle with the inner fears. A kind, caring and
freindly
characteristic of or befitting a friend
friendly
teacher
always captures the
childrens'
Suggestion
Childrens'
attention. They keep trying to stay close to him and usually try to impress him. Security and love always succeed to build
strong structure
Suggestion
a strong structure
strong structures
in one's beliefs. They
also
help to upgrade the mind skills as well as the communication confidence. They help students to gain courage, confidence and power to grow and continue.
This
leads to the most necessary skill which is creativity. Needless to say that parents surely are responsible for part of the skills acquired by their sons,
however
the more impressive effect comes from the outside community. The more effective and secure the round persons were, the more creative and social the students would be.
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • nuances
  • responsibility
  • intellectual development
  • social development
  • structured learning environment
  • curriculum
  • diverse interactions
  • group activities
  • conflict resolution
  • foundational impact
  • core values
  • beliefs
  • attitudes
  • nurturing
  • joint responsibility
  • collaboration
  • continuous dialogue
  • distinct roles
  • underestimate
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