IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

It is becoming increasingly expensive for museums to be open to the public. What would be the best solution to keep them open, in your opinion?

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In these
Change preposition
These
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 days,
museums
Use synonyms
, which are the reflection of a country’s culture, tradition and history, are becoming
burden
Add an article
a burden
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 because of the increasing expense of its maintenance. It is thought that
museums
Use synonyms
, which are
opened
Replace the word
open
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 to the public, are too much costly. In my opinion, there are three possible solutions, which will facilitate to
open
Replace the word
opening
show examples
the
Change preposition
of the
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museum
Use synonyms
 to all.
Firstly
Linking Words
, managing sponsorship from
the
Correct article usage
apply
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local and multinational companies to renovate and develop the
museum
Use synonyms
 will solve the funding problem. In many developed countries,
museums
Use synonyms
 are run by the large companies of their countries.
For example
Linking Words
,
London
Correct article usage
the London
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Use synonyms
museum
Capitalize word
Museum
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, which is a historical
museum
Use synonyms
 of London, is fully funded by the
Coca cola
Add a hyphen
Coca-cola
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 company.
Moreover
Linking Words
, companies
also
Linking Words
 get popularity from
this
Linking Words
 type of sponsorship, which helps to boost their sales.
Secondly
Linking Words
, as
museums
Use synonyms
 are indispensable for our future generations,
public
Add an article
the public
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 will not obviously
reluctant
Add a missing verb
be reluctant
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 to give a small amount of entry fee for the
museums
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. Collecting
fee
Fix the agreement mistake
fees
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 as a token to visit the
museum
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 will be
source
Add an article
a source
the source
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 of money, which can be
also
Linking Words
 used for maintaining the
museums
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.
This
Linking Words
 can be exemplified by the renovation
the
Change preposition
of the
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 Heritage
Use synonyms
museum
Capitalize word
Museum
show examples
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Gazipur, Bangladesh has been done
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
one
Correct determiner usage
a
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year
Correct your spelling
one-year
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 entry charge.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, visitors will
also
Linking Words
 know that their money is using for better
purpose
Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
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, which promotes transparency.
Finally
Linking Words
,
government
Add an article
the government
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 of any country should increase its monitoring team so that no mismanagement occurs in the
museum
Use synonyms
. Fraudulency
involves
Wrong verb form
involved
show examples
 in the money management by the
museum
Use synonyms
 authority could be the reason for the shortage of funding, which leads to close down of a
museum
Use synonyms
. In India,
for instance
Linking Words
, the Gandhi
Use synonyms
museum
Capitalize word
Museum
show examples
 was shut down because of
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 discrepancy
done
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
by the management. In conclusion, arranging sponsorship, collection entry
fee
Fix the agreement mistake
fees
show examples
 and increasing monitoring are be best options, which will help
Use synonyms
museum
Correct article usage
the museum
show examples
 authority to keep the
museum
Use synonyms
 open.

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task achievement
The introduction presents the problem well, but could be more concise. Consider rephrasing for clarity.
coherence and cohesion
Try to ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that encapsulates the main idea.
coherence and cohesion
Use a variety of sentence structures to enhance the overall flow of your essay.
task achievement
Avoid small grammatical errors, such as 'which are opened' instead of 'which are open', to improve accuracy.
task achievement
Strong ideas regarding the role of sponsorship and entry fees in keeping museums open.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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