IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Many offenders commit more crime after serving the first punishment. Why is this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle with the issue?

#offenders #crime #first #punishment #measures
A large number of criminals, who serve their fist prison sentence, released back into society, commit more misconduct.
This
 is because of several reasons, and there are a number of solutions to deal with the problem. One of the main reasons of
this
 issue is that lawbreakers after being sent to the jail are given no chance to learn new skills or gain a wealth knowledge about moral behaviour,
instead
 mix with other criminals, which will strengthen criminal intentions.
Furthermore
, it is difficult for them after being released from the prison in finding employment.
Hence
, many of them struggle financially, which leads them back to illegal activities, regardless any consequence. The need of several solutions will help them prevent negative thoughts regarding to lawbreaking.
First
, when the offenders are in the prison, they should be provided vocational training and should be taught the knowledge about moral behaviour.
For example
, if the offenders can stand a higher chance to learn skills related to manufacturing clothes, they are able to find a job in clothing factories in the future.
Moreover
, the criminals may do volunteer, if they watch or read articles seeing the respect of society for volunteers.
Second
, governments are likely to install surveillance cameras at the streets, which the lawbreakers often are in there.
As a result
, the governments and policies are able to supervise the actions of the lawbreakers.
This
 leads to that the offenders will not do any misconduct, since they are conscious of being monitored. In conclusion, having trained in the jail and observation of the criminals after being released. If governments can do these solutions, the rate of lawbreaking will decrease.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: