IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Most artists earn low salaries and should therefore receive funding from the government in order for them to continue their work. To what extent do you agree?

#artists #salaries #government #work
Nowadays, artists are not earning enough money to
fulfill
put in effect
fulfil
 their needs. Some people suggest providing financial assistance to them.
However
,
this
 may be of little help, but I am a strong opponent of
this
 idea. Supporters of state funding to artists can give only
few reasons
Suggestion
a few reasons
 to support their stand.
First
 and foremost,
culture
Suggestion
the culture
 of any country is closely linked and reflected through
arts
Suggestion
the arts
. Providing sufficient monetary support
to
Suggestion
of
 artists may be beneficial for them to work in a relax environment, free from any financial stress.
Thus
, artists may work
better
Suggestion
best
 to promote the culture of their country.
Furthermore
, though artists may possess unique skills in their fields, they lack any marketable product which they can sell to earn their living.
For example
, a civil engineer can construct a building and a software engineer can code a program.
Hence
,
government
Suggestion
the government
 should help them to have a better life.
However
, providing monthly allowances to artists would have only short come outcomes. Government should adopt better strategies to integrate artists with other profitable industries.
For instance
, artists should be given required
education
 and training to work in other fields along with
arts
Suggestion
the arts
.
Furthermore
, government should spend public money on other important areas
such
 as health and
education
. Providing every citizen an easy access to quality health and
education
 will develop a progress society
that is
 self sufficient to earn its living. To conclude, while budgetary grants to artists may promote culture of any country, I strongly believe that spending on public health,
education
 and training would eradicate poverty from society.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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