IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

In
this
Linking Words
globalization
Use the right word
globalisation
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 era,
people
Use synonyms
 can purchase
food
Use synonyms
 from many parts of the world in supermarkets.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss the reasons why I believe
this
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 is
positive
Correct article usage
a positive
show examples
 development.
To begin
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 with, many
people
Use synonyms
 believe that international trade creates economic opportunities not only for
countries
Use synonyms
 but
also
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 for local industries.
This
Linking Words
 is because global markets allow governments to earn more money from export and import businesses.
Moreover
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, local industries could benefit from selling their products to international buyers, allowing them to expand their markets. A good example of
this
Linking Words
 is the milk industry. Many developed
countries
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 are looking for high-quality milk since it is hardly available in their
countries
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.
As a result
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, local farmers can earn more money from the international market. Another reason is that the quality of some types of
food
Use synonyms
 produced in one country is not the same as that of its original country.
That is
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 to say, the taste of those foods is often complained about by most
people
Use synonyms
 since the ingredients are not really specific.
For instance
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, many instant noodles that are sold in Indonesia are not similar to the original ones, making them unpopular to purchase.
Moreover
Linking Words
, if governments prohibit these types of
food
Use synonyms
 from being sold in supermarkets, it will affect their economies, because
people
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 would refuse to buy local products. In conclusion, international trade is a positive development since it allows
people
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 to access
food
Use synonyms
 from all over the
world
Punctuation problem
world,
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because
Change preposition
as
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 it can increase
countries
Use synonyms
' revenue and empower local industries.
Moreover
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, in order to maintain
countries
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' economies, governments should open import activities for specific
food
Use synonyms
.

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task achievement
Make sure each point in your essay is well explained. Some ideas are good but could use more detail.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use linking words to connect ideas better, which will help the flow of your essay.
task achievement
You have a clear opinion and express positive views about international food trade.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion nicely summarizes your main ideas, making it clear for the reader.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • nutrition
  • cultural exposure
  • competitive markets
  • economic boost
  • employment opportunities
  • carbon footprint
  • environmental impact
  • local produce
  • food security
  • global supply chain
  • sustainable practices
  • consumer choice
  • market dynamics
  • price competition
  • agricultural sector
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