IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that the best way to improve road safety is reducing the amount of maximum speed of vehicles. Others think that other ways exist. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Many working people get little or no
exercise
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 either during the working day or in their free
time
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, and
ha ve
have or possess, either in a concrete or an abstract sense
have
 health problems
as a result
Linking Words
. Why do many working people not get enough
exercise
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? What can be done about
this
Linking Words
 problem? A large number of people who
work
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, hardly do
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exercise whether
Accept comma addition
exercise, whether
 it is weekdays or weekends,
therefore
Linking Words
 they are suffering from many health issues.
This
Linking Words
 is mainly due to huge
work
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pressure
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 at
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office
Suggestion
the office
 and
scarcity
Suggestion
the scarcity
 of
proper place
Suggestion
a proper place
the proper place
 for doing
exercise
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. There are
numbers
Suggestion
a number
number
 of solutions which should be implemented to deal with
this
Linking Words
 problem.
Firstly
Linking Words
, most of the
office
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 going people do not do
exercise
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 because they do not get enough
time
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 for doing it as they have to go through with a huge
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work
Suggestion
working
pressure
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 daily. Sometimes, they have to do
work
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 at home to accomplish their
office
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work
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.
Consequently
Linking Words
, they hardly get
time
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 to do physical
exercise
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 which is very essential to lead a healthy life.
For instance
Linking Words
, it has shown in a survey that in Bangladesh, the people who are engineers
work
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 10 to 12 hours daily, often do
in
Suggestion
on
weekends even
Accept comma addition
weekends, even
 and 98% of them are suffering from back pain as they do no do
exercise
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 regularly.
Secondly
Linking Words
, nowadays most of the city areas are surrounded with high rise buildings and
few spaces
Suggestion
a few spaces
 are left for parks and gardens where people can do free hand
exercise
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.
Hence
Linking Words
, due to lack of proper spaces people can not do
exercise
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, gymnasiums are very costly to afford. To overcome above mentioned issues, few measures must be taken. One way to solve
this
Linking Words
 problem is that working hour ought to be fixed and employees right union should be introduced in every
office
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.
Thus
Linking Words
, if employers impose any extra
work
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pressure
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 on their employees, it can protest for the right of employees. By doing
this
Linking Words
, people will face less
work
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pressure
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 and they can be relaxed.
As a result
Linking Words
, they will have enough
time
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 to do
exercise
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. Another solution is that local authorities should facilitate local people with enough free spaces for gardens or parks where people can do
exercise
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 in a calm proper place.
In addition
Linking Words
,
government
Suggestion
the government
governments
 can establish gymnasiums where
charge
Suggestion
a charge
the charge
charges
 will be minimal, so that local people can afford it. In conclusion, reducing
work
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pressure
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 and providing enough space for doing
exercise
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 will motivate people to do
exercise
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regularly which
Accept comma addition
regularly, which
 will help them to reduce health problems.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • road safety
  • maximum speed
  • speed limits
  • reaction time
  • stopping distance
  • fatality
  • driving habits
  • traffic education
  • road infrastructure
  • vehicle safety
  • enforcement
  • traffic laws
  • technology integration
  • traffic management
  • high-risk areas
  • strategic planning
What to do next:
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