IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Many families move to different countries. Some people think children can benefit from this, while others consider it is hard for children if families move to a foreign country. Discuss both views and your opinion.

#families #move #countries #people #children #benefit #country
It is now a common occurrence for families to migrate to a new
country
.
Although
 it is believed that
this
 can benefit the young ones, others think
this
 decision might be extremely difficult for a
child
 in a new
country
. In my opinion, I believe that moving to a new nation will be of immense benefit to a
child
. On the one hand, in
order
 to give their children more sound
education
, parents tend to
move
 them to another
country
.
This
 is because it is possible that the present place of residence of an individual might not be beneficial academically to a
child
, in
this
 situation fathers and mothers could consider a
move
 to other countries whose primary focus is standard learning for the
child
.
For example
, it is now a common trend for parents in Nigeria to relocate to more developed countries like Canada in
order
 to improve the quality of
education
 received by the
child
. In my opinion, I believe in
order
 to ensure that a
child
 receives optimal
education
, the parents can
move
 to another
country
 as
this
 can help build a brighter future for the
child
.
On the other hand
, others think that
this
 big
move
 might be hard for a
child
 because of the psychological effect it might create.
This
 is because a
move
 to a new place means a change of environment and friends and the young one might find it difficult to adapt to
this
,
thus
, resulting in loneliness which could inadvertently lead to depression in the offspring.
For example
, the WHO reported a surge in depression among children in 2018
as a result
 of relocation to a new state. In conclusion,
although
 relocating a
child
 to a new state might have a depressing effect on a
child
, I believe that parents relocate their children in
order
 to afford them a better
education
 which might not be available in their present state.
Submitted by Mabel on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cognitive abilities
  • adaptability
  • cultural awareness
  • disruption
  • educational systems
  • emotional well-being
  • broaden perspectives
  • open-minded
  • personal growth
  • instability
  • rootlessness
  • sense of belonging
What to do next:
Look at other essays: