IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Many museums charge for admission, while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admissions to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

#museums #charge #admission #people #admissions
Lots of museums charge an entry fee, while others do not.
This
 essay thinks that the drawbacks of charging fees do not outweigh the benefits because
although
 some people are excluded when museums charge admission, museums need the funding. The main disadvantage is that high fees exclude a large proportion of the population, especially in less developed countries. Many people in poorer countries have just enough money for food and shelter and exhibits and museums are one of the few cultural activities they can enjoy free of charge.
For example
, Egypt has millions of poor people, but
also
 a rich ancient culture and it is important that all the people get to experience these artefacts, not just those that can afford it. But
this
 essay would argue that people with
such
 serious concerns are unlikely to appreciate the arts.
However
, there are some who say that museums are unsustainable without the money they get from ticket sales. They say that
this
 allows the buildings to remain open and it is better that some people get to see the exhibits, rather than none at all.
For instance
, in the UK there have been huge government spending-cuts over the
last
 few years, and museums have had to rely on entrance fees to stay open.
Therefore
, it is obvious that without these charges, there would be no museums at all. In conclusion,
although
 it is unfortunate that everyone cannot enjoy the exhibits in a museum, the money earned from charging people to enter is often the only thing
that is
 keeping the doors open.
Submitted by ziknupukke on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural heritage
  • Preservation
  • Exclusionary
  • Revenue
  • Artifact
  • Maintenance
  • Engagement
  • Admission fee
  • Cultural enrichment
  • Sustainable funding
What to do next:
Look at other essays: