Some people think that animal testing for medicine and cosmetics should be banned. Others think it is necessary to guarantee human safety. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #medicine #cosmetics #guarantee #safety

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Some

people

believe that animal testing for medicine and

cosmetics

should be banned. Others think it is necessary to guarantee human

safety

. I will argue the reason why they disagreed with

this

topic, and they agreed on their opinions

Change preposition

show examples

both aspects.

First,

people

strongly disagree with animal testing for medicine and

cosmetics

for their protecting

animals

and lifesaving. In my personal

own

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

opinion, all

animals

have their own lives, and their lives are not for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

animal testing.

In addition

to that, after

animals

ingest some chemical

substances

, they have no choice but to die by being killed.

This

is because if the

animals

go outside and move around anywhere, they cause

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

viruses which contain

Remove the preposition

apply

show examples

unknown

illness

Fix the agreement mistake

illnesses

show examples

which

Correct word choice

that

show examples

human beings would suffer from.

In addition

, killing

animals

for human beings’

benefits

Fix the agreement mistake

benefit

show examples

would make the ecosystem destroyed. We should protect their

habitants

Correct your spelling

habitats

show examples

and environment.

On the other hand

, other

people

have their opinions about animal testing because of

guaranteeing

Wrong verb form

guarantees

show examples

human

safety

For instance

, when researchers would like to search if their medicine and

cosmetics

are adequate, from

Correct article usage

the perspectives

show examples

perspectives

Fix the agreement mistake

perspective

show examples

safety

people

would die

due to

bad chemical

substances

Apart from

this

, there are many kinds of chemicals all over the world, and we can make new dangerous chemical

substances

, which we can’t count. Unless we have their chemicals, which we can’t deep dive into what part of

group

Add an article

the group

a group

show examples

in their chemicals, we would die for

substances

. The governments should regulate their laws about new drugs and

cosmetics

developed by researchers. In conclusion, we should protect animal testing so as to protect their lives and their ecosystem. And the governments should make

decision

Fix the agreement mistake

decisions

show examples

about new

law

Fix the agreement mistake

laws

show examples

for new drugs and

cosmetics

for

people

’s

safety

Submitted by aimy.emi1097 on Sun Aug 18 2024

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task achievement

To improve task achievement, ensure that you clearly address both sides of the argument with relevant and specific examples. You have done well to mention both perspectives, but more concrete examples could strengthen your arguments.

coherence cohesion

To improve coherence and cohesion, try to use more transition words and phrases to guide the reader through your essay. This will help to create a more logical flow between sentences and paragraphs.

task achievement

You have presented a balanced discussion, considering both sides of the argument regarding animal testing.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame your argument neatly.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

285 words

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Some people think that animal testing for medicine and cosmetics should be banned. Others think it is necessary to guarantee human safety. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In many countries, an increase in crime has been blamed on violent images on television and in computer games. To what extend do you agree or disagree

Semi-Formal Letter Prompt: "You recently attended a workshop and would like to thank the organizer. Write a letter to the organizer. In your letter, you should: 1.Express your gratitude for the workshop. 2.Describe what you learned or found valuable. 3.Suggest how the workshop could be improved."

Some people think that it is a waste of time for high school students to study literature, such as novels and poems. what is this case? Is there any benefits for this ?

The efficientfunctioning o f society is based on rules and laws. Society would not function well if individuals were free to do whatever they wanted. To what extent do you agree or disagree?