Some people say that schools do not do enough to teach young people about health. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #schools #health

Some people say that schools do not do enough to teach young people about health. Do you agree or disagree? Many people think youth is less taught medical issues in schools.

However

, the government introduced some projects about

this

issue. I fully disagree with

this

view and believe that young people are given the opportunity to take healthiness lessons by educational institutions. Health education has become a fundamental subject in schools, which is required by young people. Governments those emphasize often the importance of healthy society make basic health education mandatory in the curriculum.

For example

, The Ministry of Health of Turkey added a class which is mandatory and required to be taken by all youngsters in 2016.

Furthermore

, that Ministry appointed physicians to all schools across the country, who give regular health-related lessons to the youth.

Besides

these advancements implemented in favour of a wealthy society, the government, in 2018, created an online, educational portal which youngsters can benefit from wherever they are.

For instance

, the portal offers the requirements of being healthy and provides them with online lessons given by physicians. According to official statistics, about 3 million students from elementary and high school attended these lessons online. In conclusion,

although

many people believe that a knowledge of health-related issues are not enough taught in educational institutions, I fully disagree with

this

belief and think that the administrators took remarkable steps to educate teenagers about medical topics. In my opinion, the government should promote and introduce better the projects, which contribute to improving the awareness of health, to families so that they do not say that that education is not enough.

Submitted by yagizaydin18 on Wed Sep 11 2019

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

273 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.5

Complete response

4.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Health education
Curriculum
Healthy lifestyle
Diet
Exercise
Mental health
Hygiene
Practical skills
Responsibility
Collaboration
Long-term benefits
Reduced healthcare costs
Academic performance
Well-being
Comprehensive health programs
Positive outcomes

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Some people say that schools do not do enough to teach young people about health. Do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Dicuss both views and give your opinion

Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects.Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?