IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

You are working for a company. You need to take some time off work and want to ask your manager about this. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter Explain why you want to take time off work Give details of the amount of time you need Suggest how your work could be covered while you are away

#company #time #work #manager #amount
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Hope you are doing well. I am writing
this
 letter to request a holiday for a week from 10th March to 17th March.
Firstly
, I would like to explain why I want to take
time
 off work and that's because of my dad's problem with his health.
Although
 I live in
Mubarek
Correct your spelling
Mubarak
, my parents live in Tashkent. So, yesterday I heard
shocking
Add an article
the shocking
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 news about my dad from my mother and I have decided to go to my hometown-Tashkent. I need just one week as I said. During
this
time
 I really want to spend
time
 with my dad. Because, nowadays he is going through a rough
time
 and he is feeling so depressed. And, that's why I want to cheer him up and put a smile on his face as usual. During my journey, I have arranged for Joxa, who is my best colleague. He is a reliable person and because of
that
Add a comma
that,
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 I think he can cover my work. I think Joxa is the best choice for being responsible for my work because of his experience in his previous role. I look forward to your response and I am grateful for your
time
. Yours sincerely Pulat
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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task achievement
In your letter, ensure a clear introduction that states the purpose of your writing right at the beginning to improve your score for task achievement. Explicitly mention your intention to request time off in the first paragraph.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, consider using more diverse linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas and paragraphs. While your letter is logically structured, the use of a broader range of cohesive devices could enhance the readability and flow of your content.
coherence cohesion
Include a formal closing statement in your letter. While 'I look forward to your response' is polite, pairing it with a more formal closing such as 'Kind regards' before your name could improve the greeting and closing score.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Respectful greeting (e.g., 'Dear [Manager's name],')
  • Time off, absence, leave of absence
  • Personal circumstances, compelling reason
  • Duration, number of days/weeks
  • Cover duties, delegate tasks, work handover
  • Alternative arrangements, contingency plans
  • Preparation, advance work, assistance
  • Gratitude, appreciate, understanding
  • Inconvenience, minimal disruption
  • Request approval, formally request
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