Nowadays, people spend too much time at work too what extent they hardly have time for their personal life. Discuss

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In the 21st century, the living expenses have become too high, to live comfortably and luxurious people are
coning
of the relatively near future
coming
behind money. They have become too busy with their official works and spend less time with their families and loved ones. In the upcoming paragraphs, I will discuss my viewpoints. To commence with, to meet the daily needs and expenses people are working for long hours which have a detrimental effect on their health and family. People are becoming obese
end mentally
Accept comma addition
end, mentally
unstable. They are spending less time with their families which lead to clashes among
couples which
Accept comma addition
couples, which
sometimes end
with
Suggestion
in
divorce and destroys the whole family. Probing ahead, people who are working for long hours have a negative impact on their children. Their kids will be brought up by some
third
Linking Words
person and will not be nourished by them so, they could fall in the wrong hands.
Further
Linking Words
, work pressure for achieving targets can make a person
unhappy which
Accept comma addition
unhappy, which
be brought up by some
third
Linking Words
people and will not be nourished by them so, they could fall in the wrong hand.
Further
Linking Words
, work pressure for achieving targets can make a person
unhappy which
Suggestion
unhappy, which
directly impact the family as he will burst out on family members only. To conclude, one should balance the work-life and family life because both things are important in life People should not leave their family behind to achieve some other official goals.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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