Some people think that hardworking and determination are the key factors for being successful in life. Other people feel that other factors are important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #determination #factors #life

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People's opinions differ as to the main determinants of success. While some opine that hard

work

Use synonyms

and being focused a

Suggestion

the major determinants, others believe that some other things

such

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as family

Use synonyms

ackground and

Accept comma addition

background, and

destiny

also

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determine to some extent, how successful

one

Use synonyms

can be. In my opinion, hard

work

Use synonyms

and determination are highly necessary for a successful life,

however

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, family

background

Use synonyms

and destiny

also

Linking Words

play contributory roles. On the

one

Use synonyms

hand, hard

work

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and determination keep an individual focused.

This

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means that someone that works really hard, and is

also

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determined cannot be easily distracted with trivial issues.

In addition

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, it

also

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improves skills and efficiency.

This

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is because much attention is given to the

work

Use synonyms

hence

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, tremendous result will be achieved.

For example

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, Cristiano Ronaldo, a popular footballer is said to spend an average of 14 hours every day during his training sessions on the pitch.

As a result

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this

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display of diligence and drive has secured him an enviable position of

one

Use synonyms

of the best footballers in the world.

On the other hand

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, it is

also

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argued that other factors

also

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contribute to prosperity in life.

One

Use synonyms

such

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is the family

background

Use synonyms

In other words

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, the family

one

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comes p

lay

Suggestion

to play

a crucial role in his life.

This

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is to say that someone from a wealthy

background

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may likely succeed more than his counterpart from a poor upbringing.

This

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can be attributed to the major financial and educational foundation gotten from the parents.

Furthermore

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, destiny is

also

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a major determinant of how successful

one

Use synonyms

can be. It is believed that a person's major achievement is likely embedded in his fate.

Consequently

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, present actions may likely not interfere with future results. In conclusion, despite people's varying views, I believe that hard

work

Use synonyms

and determination are the main elements of success.

However

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, family

background

Use synonyms

and

one

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's fate are equally important.

Submitted by dimma_ufondu on Fri Sep 13 2019

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

311 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

perseverance
skill development
overcoming obstacles
social connections
economic background
grit
entrepreneurs
existing connections
industries
career paths
balanced perspective

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Some people think that hardworking and determination are the key factors for being successful in life. Other people feel that other factors are important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In many cities an increasing number of people do not know their neighbours and there is a lack of sense of community. What are the causes of this problem? How can it be solved?

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Computers and AI technology are increasingly being used for online education. Can AI enhance the learning experience? Is this a positive or negative development?

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation.Why might this be the case?What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?