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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graphs compare the number of deaths caused by six diseases in Someland in 1990 with the amount of research funding allocated to each of those diseases.

The graphs compare the number of deaths caused by six diseases in Someland in 1990 with the amount of research funding allocated to each of those diseases.
#graphs #deaths #six #diseases #someland #amount #research
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The graphs compare the number of deaths caused by six
diseases
Use synonyms
 in
Someland
Correct your spelling
Homeland
 in 1990 with the amount of
research
Use synonyms
 funding allocated to each of those
diseases
Use synonyms
. The figures clearly indicate that there were spent about 200 million funds for
research
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 AIDS,
while
Linking Words
 the rate of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
death from
this
Linking Words
disease
Use synonyms
 was approximately 300000
people
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. It is clearly seen from the
second
Linking Words
 graph that in 1990 the most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 died from TB (1800000),
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
,however
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 the amount spent on TB
research
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 was the lowest (25
millions
Change to singular
million
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). For tropical
diseases
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 and Leprosy allocated 75 million for each
disease
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 and the level of death was 300000
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 tropical
diseases
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.
An
Correct article usage
The
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 amount of death by leprosy has the lowest rate, which
are
Change the verb form
is
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 about 100000 dead persons. There are 500000 dead
people
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 from Diarrhea and about 300000 dead
people
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 from malaria.
The medical
Correct article usage
Medical
show examples
research
Use synonyms
 spent about 50-60 million for
these
Change the determiner
this disease
these diseases
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disease
Use synonyms
 respectively.
To sum up
Linking Words
, funding allocation for
disease
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research
Use synonyms
 in
Someland
Correct your spelling
Homeland
 is not wholly determined by the number of deaths for which each
disease
Use synonyms
 is responsible in a given year.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words diseases, research, disease, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "compare" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graphs" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.
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