Many children are encouraged by their parents to get a part time job in their free time. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
It is becoming increasingly common for parents to encourage their
children
to work part-Use synonyms
time
to fill their spare Use synonyms
time
. Use synonyms
Although
it appears to make Linking Words
children
ignore their responsibility to study and have a lack of Use synonyms
time
to explore themselves, Use synonyms
this
essay believes the advantages overshadow the drawbacks, as it is an excellent way to introduce working culture and foster their skills.
Most Linking Words
children
are Use synonyms
students
, and school becomes their main responsibility. Education plays an important role in Use synonyms
students
' lives; Use synonyms
therefore
, they need to pay adequate attention to their studies. Linking Words
Furthermore
, Linking Words
children
are at the prime age to learn and explore their talents. Use synonyms
Hence
, if they take a part-Linking Words
time
Use synonyms
job
, their academic and personal lives may be disturbed. Use synonyms
For instance
, Linking Words
students
usually use their free Use synonyms
time
to perform their homework or learn a new thing, yet Use synonyms
instead
of being involved in academic activities, they use it for work, which means they ignore their main role as Linking Words
students
.
Use synonyms
On the other hand
, a part-Linking Words
time
Use synonyms
job
can have several advantages for Use synonyms
children
. Use synonyms
To begin
with, a part-Linking Words
time
Use synonyms
job
allows them to have first-hand experience. In Use synonyms
this
case, they are familiar with the working environment, which can help them in the future since they have learned about professionalism. Linking Words
Additionally
, some skills are being instilled in their personality. They learn to manage their Linking Words
time
properly and take a more significant responsibility from a Use synonyms
job
. Use synonyms
For instance
, Chinese families often ask their Linking Words
children
to assist in restaurants after school, teaching them how to handle a store.
In conclusion, even though a part-Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
job
could disturb Use synonyms
children
's school life, Use synonyms
this
allows them to understand the working world better and enhance their professional skills. Linking Words
Therefore
, I firmly stated that the benefits eclipsed the drawbacks.Linking Words
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task achievement
Expand further on how part-time jobs could interfere with academics and personal life exploration, providing more concrete examples or statistics to strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Include a wider range of connectives and transition phrases to improve the flow between paragraphs and ideas.
task achievement
Consider discussing a wider variety of skills and experiences that children gain from part-time work, to offer a more comprehensive analysis.
Overall
Avoid absolute statements unless they can be supported by evidence or sources. Instead, use more nuanced language to present your views.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...