IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

The prevention of health problems and illness is more important than treatment and medicine. Government funding should reflect this. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#prevention #health #illness #treatment #medicine #government
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It is argued that
government
 should expend only on preventing diseases and health related problems rather than combating contagious diseases and providing medicines. I largely agree with
this
 as it will prove advantageous for people to remain healthy and save
money
. On one hand, promoting prevention measures by
government
Suggestion
the government
 helps to aware people about the multifarious consequences of unhealthy eating habits which certainly assist them to save
money
 and remain fit and healthy.
In other words
, if people stay away from
such
 habits, it will definitely lessen the burden of
government
 in terms of expending
money
 on providing treatments and medicines.
Furthermore
, people not only become more
productive but
Accept comma addition
productive, but
also
 love stress free by being aware about the benefits of remaining healthy.
Moreover
, taking prevention methods people will not fall
ill
Accept comma addition
ill, hence
hence
 it will increase the life expectancy. To
examplify
be characteristic of
exemplify
, there has been a
declination
Suggestion
decline
 in the mortality rate due to the ban on cigarettes and alcohol in various states of India.
On the other hand
, there are various fatal diseases which need to be treated
therefore
aong
with a forward motion
along
 with prevention methods
government
 should allocate funds towards providing medicines as deprived people cannot afford to have extravagantly expensive medicines. In conclusion,
although
 safeguarding people by
awaring
a grant made by a law court
awarding
wearing
 them through different methods save the
money
of
Suggestion
from
government
 and people, funding medicines and providing treatment
is
Suggestion
is also proving
has also proven
is also proven
also proves
also
 prove beneficial for destitute people.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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