IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

It is inevitable that as technology advances, traditional cultures will be lost. It seems that we cannot have these two things together. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#technology #advances #cultures #two
In today's world,
technology
 and
culture
 have become an inextricable aspects because
technology
 is leaving its imprint on
culture
.
However
, some opine that with the advancement in
technology
, traditional values and cultures
are
Suggestion
is
 in jeopardy,
thus
 cannot go together. Here, I partially accord with
this
 statement.
To begin
 with,
technology
 has oversimplified many things on account of which people are now able to comprehend several complicated things
such
 as cultures, values and so on, in a better way due to manifold reasons.
Firstly
,
technology
 facilitates someone to conveniently understand the
culture
 because earlier, it was a pipe dream for people to know about
culture
, but now the roots of
culture
 can be easily dug out, thereby one can become more intellectually sharp and aware. On the top of that, many people face several problems in visiting various cultural places owing to health issues, financial problems and many more, but now anyone can easily feel experience of cultural places by using
technology
, because every cultural place with full detail is available on the internet, which is again a best way to know a
culture
.
However
, one cannot procrastinate the negative sides of
technology
 on
culture
.
Technology
 has made people more cynical and lethargic due to which people are no more active to even think about their
culture
, which seems very pathetic.
Furthermore
, changes in the mindset of people are the result of
advance
Suggestion
advanced
technology
, which in turn has made people to not give more importance to their cultures and traditions, which is again a horrendous situation.
For instance
, it has noticed in many surveys that people prefer to spend more time on
technology
, rather than doing cultural activities. In conclusion, I reckon one cannot be successful as long as he/she does not know his/her
culture
 because cultures are the way of life.
Submitted by ovorno on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: