Some people think that prison sentences should not be used to deal with criminals. Education and skills training should be used instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #prison #sentences #criminals #education #skills

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Punishing offenders with a detention time has been a controversial topic for many years. Because there is a thought in the society that believe, with the help of

reabilitation

the restoration of someone to a useful place in society

rehabilitation

programs these people can be brought into the correct path. I agree that well organized training sessions would help prisoners to develop certain skills that will be useful when they are released.

Firstly

although

they have made some mistakes along the way,

majority

Suggestion

the majority

of these

individuls

a human being

individuals

are good in their hearts. Unfortunately,

current prison system

Suggestion

the current prison system

does not provide a fair chance for them to become better citizens.

For instance

, when a

person

first

enters to a jail, it is surrounded by various

type

Suggestion

types

of criminals who have been locked up for several years, in a

oder

(often plural) a command given by a superior (e.g., a military or law enforcement officer) that must be obeyed

order

to survive in

this

unplesent

disagreeable to the senses, to the mind, or feelings

unpleasant

environment aforementioned

person

has to blend in with those with bad intentions.

Hence

, if these detentions have better methods to get themselves busy with,

then

they would not end up with the bad influence of other dangerous offenders.

On the other hand

, the skills taught during lock-up time would be enormously valuable in their future.

For example

asume

take to be the case or to be true; accept without verification or proof

assume

assumed

assumes

that a particular

person

gets released from a lock-up that had

gave

Suggestion

given

him specific knowledge about a job.

Then

, at least that

person

has

Suggestion

opportunity to select

the better

Suggestion

the best

path other than continuing previous disruptive lifestyle.

Moreover

, the self confidence it

provide

Suggestion

provides

is crucial to build up the lost self respect of theirs.

In addition

, these programs offer a numerous benefits for the society

such

as producing more trained work force for a

nations

Suggestion

nation

and helping to reduce the crimes around a country. In conclusion, the prisoner education and skill training programs have a number of advantages

such

as building trained

workfore

Suggestion

work fore

and motivating offenders to leave the criminal activities.

Therefore

such

actions would generate

greate many

Suggestion

a great many

great many

greet many

create many

of benefits for the society and for the individuals.

Tue Sep 17 2019

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

315 words

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