IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Should private schools receive government funding? Give your relevant examples

#schools #government
Private schools are totally independent and they are already obtaining high demand fees. Authority should not provide financial support to any private education system.
This
 essay will discuss about why
berucracey
nonelective government officials
bureaucracy
pick
Suggestion
picks
 up all experience of
education centre
Suggestion
the education centre
,
Accept space
,
but why private sector acquire quite high fees.
Although
, on the one hand parents have to afford very costly fees
,
Accept space
,
on the other
hand
Accept comma addition
hand, school
school
management trade
Accept comma addition
management, trade
 their uniform and all books which ancestors must have to buy in the
center
an area that is approximately central within some larger region
centre
. For illustration, recently, every literacy system has compulsory to purchase all materials at their own canteen which is located in the
school
 building.
As a result
, they sale every costly all stationary and uniform which
are required
Suggestion
is required
 of every
children
Suggestion
child
.
Secondly
, they celebrate parties of every event and juveniles have to pay all extra fees. Guardians not only financial
support their
Accept comma addition
support, their
 adolescent celebration requirements, but
also
 they have to encounter money all around year's celebration days.
For instance
, some time
school
authoriy
the power or right to give orders or make decisions
authority
make
Suggestion
makes
accasional
occurring from time to time
occasional
 party, or mother day, father day etc. For these reasons, government impediments
on
Suggestion
to
 them and
also
 implore a rule that these all celebrations should be free of cost. To sum up, private
school
 owners already well off people and they expect to support funds from government. Parents are fulfilling
school
schedule fees
Accept comma addition
schedule, fees
 while they
also
 charge another amount of money in shape of
occasionally
Suggestion
occasional
 celebrations. In my opinion, education must be free of cost and uniform, books, and other items
also
 include in the
fees
Suggestion
fee
 structure

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: