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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The number of people suffering from health problems caused by a modern lifestyle which cannot be treated with modern medicines. Some people believe that alternative medicine can help.Do you agree that alternative medicines are effective?

#people #health #lifestyle #medicines #alternative #medicine
This
 essay will discuss why the method of medication is
such
 a debatable topic.In my opinion,
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
 completely agree with the fact that the current antibiotics have failed to deal with the issues caused by the changes in the way of living. Stress related diseases and sedentary way of living have negatively impacted the new age man.
Firstly
, there has been an increase in diseases due to lifestyle changes where as a number of people are now suffering from mental illness which was unheard of in the past.
For instance
, when a recent survey was conducted it revealed that about 60% of citizens are suffering from depression and anxiety.
Secondly
, those working in offices these days have desk based jobs which cause posture related issues.
As a result
 offices made attending yoga workshops compulsory for their employees on a weekly basis.
However
, the role of modern medicines cannot be ignored completely. As there are many instances where
their
people in general
they
 substitute are not a feasible option. For examples, in case of an accident where surgery is
needed alternative
Accept comma addition
needed, alternative
 medication will not work.
Furthermore
, people trust antibiotics as there have been various tests conducted which prove the effectiveness on humans. In conclusion, with the changes in lifestyle of human beings, new problems have
also
 cropped up.
Therefore
, it is clear that these issues require to be dealt in a new way. After thorough analysis on
this
 subject, drugs are no longer a possible solution
for
Suggestion
in
 the new form of diseases. Mental illness is on the rise and various possible methods are being explored to control and cure it. With the given circumstances a new form of treatment is much needed.
Submitted by MS on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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