IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The restoration of old buildings in major city throughout the world would involve enormous expenditure. This money would bring more benefits if it was used to provide new housing and road development. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#restoration #buildings #city #world #expenditure #money #road #development
In order to bring back ancient buildings in major cities all over the world, huge expenses are required. It
is
Accept comma addition
is, therefore
therefore
, argued that
such
money
 would be more useful if spent on providing new housing and developing road. I agree with
this
 opinion in its entirety because it will improve the
life
 of the citizens and
also
 help to save
cost
Suggestion
costs
.
To begin
 with, constructing new houses and improving the roads will enhance the living condition of the people. Good roads and shelter are major amenities required by any city to have a better
life
.
For instance
, comparing the living conditions of individuals in
developed
Suggestion
developing
 and underdeveloped countries, it is evident that those in the former countries who live in old building live a less glamorous
life
 compared to the
later
referring to the second of two things or persons mentioned (or the last one or ones of several)
latter
 countries where there are new houses and better roads. It
can
Accept comma addition
can, therefore
therefore
, be logically deduced that improving the roads and providing modern buildings lead to
better
Suggestion
a better life
life
.
Additionally
, spending
money
 on modern houses and
road
Suggestion
the road
roads
instead
 of using it to restore old buildings help to save cost as it takes
quiet
to a degree (not used with a negative)
quite
 a lot of
money
 to construct old houses.
Although
, it can be argued that ancient houses can serve as tourist
centers
an area that is approximately central within some larger region
centres
 and in return, generate
money
 for the cities, the huge expenditure involved make it economically unwise to embark on. As a matter of fact, new houses can be built in ways that can attract tourist
such
 as the popular tower of
Indian
Suggestion
Indians
the Indian
 and the haven of Germany. So, same purpose of old buildings can be achieved with modern buildings and good roads, while spending less. In conclusion,
although
, ancient houses can be vital to most cities throughout the world, it's more beneficial if spendings are on providing new housing and improving road
instead
.
Submitted by godwinogirima5 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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