New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

In recent years, the advancements in technology have tremendously increased.
Due to
this
improvement, the way that the young generations spend their leisure time has significantly changed. I think that there are more drawbacks than benefits to
this
development.
This
essay will discuss both sides. One of the evident benefits of new technologies is that children get to learn advancements and technologies in their free time more easily than before.
Additionally
, they do not need to depend upon the school or a professional to teach them. Nowadays there are several apps and websites available to learn.
For example
, YouTube,prepladder, marrow, and science tech help students with their studies. Another advantage is that they can learn more about the career options that they want to choose in the future.
On the other hand
, there are several drawbacks to the improving digital world.
This
is because the children in their free time rather prefer to stay indoors and play video games than to go out and play sports.
This
in turn creates many health-related issues.
For instance
, obesity, stress, and cardiac problems are detrimental to the younger population.
Furthermore
, children do not get enough social interaction and exposure with people which may become a deteriorating condition when they join a job in the later years. In conclusion,
Although
there are many benefits
due to
this
development like available resources to learn anything and prepare for future jobs there are several drawbacks like it creates health issues and fewer social interactions that outweigh the advantages
Submitted by m.keerthanah on

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examples
Consider expanding your essay by providing more in-depth examples to support your arguments. Real-world situations or statistics would add more substance.
stance clarity
Ensure a clear stance throughout your essay. While you've discussed both advantages and disadvantages, reinforcing your viewpoint in the conclusion could be made stronger to emphasize the drawbacks outweighing the benefits.
sentence structure
Improve the variety of your sentence structures to enhance readability and engagement. Mixing simple, complex, and compound sentences can make your essay more dynamic.
cohesion
Pay attention to improving the connectivity between your paragraphs and within them. Using linking words and transitional phrases can help in making your essay flow more smoothly and logically.
balanced discussion
While addressing the advantages and disadvantages, strive to provide a balanced discussion but ensure your conclusion succinctly encapsulates your overall viewpoint, reinforcing why one side outweighs the other based on the arguments provided.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Digital literacy
  • Cyberbullying
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Inappropriate content
  • Self-learning
  • Screen time
  • Social inequality
  • Enhanced communication
  • Creative expression
  • Educational resources
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