IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

In some countries, children under 16 are not allowed to leave school by law and get full-time work. Is this a good or a bad thing?

#countries #children #school #law #work
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In many countries, there are some strict employment rule related to minimum
age
Use synonyms
 requirement in order to start a job. Few countries mandate teenagers to not leave the
school
Use synonyms
 or college until one attains 16 years of
age
Use synonyms
; it is a pre-requisite for many of the organizations too. In my opinion, it is good to have
such
Linking Words
 law in place as it will allow youth to start a career when they will have specialized skills which eventually will help them to grow as a better professional in the future.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it is not possible to start a career in some of the fields without any formal
education
Use synonyms
 like medicine, aviation etc.
Linking Words
such
Suggestion
Such
 vocations require expert guidance and rigorous training with adequate monitoring.
Hence
Linking Words
 it becomes crucial for children to complete
school
Use synonyms
 and pursue
education
Use synonyms
further
Linking Words
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, not having an
age
Use synonyms
 limit will increase child labour which is considered as an evil to any society because children are often subject to exploitation and ill treatment by their employer.
Finally
Linking Words
, having specialized
education
Use synonyms
, enhance the collective human resources of a nation.
This
Linking Words
 in turn leads to specialized experts who can give direction to the masses and uplift the society.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, teenagers working as part time employees can be benefited from the exposure, they get during those on job hours. To illustrate, some employers consider experience as an added advantage, so exposure of similar work will put them ahead of people who do not have any prior work experience.
Additionally
Linking Words
, if a child starts working at an early
age
Use synonyms
, he will understand the worth of money and will have good money management skills. To conclude, it is extremely important to have
school
Use synonyms
 as well as professional
education
Use synonyms
 to become successful in life and putting
this
Linking Words
 law in place makes people abide by
this
Linking Words
. Having experience is good, but it can never overrule the
school
Use synonyms
education
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: