The relatively recent development of games on phones, computers, and TV consoles is extremely popular with people all over the world. What are the advantages and disadvantages of such electronic games?

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These days, technology has been developing, so playing electronic

games

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that are run by phones, computers, and TV consoles is becoming really common among global inhabitants.

This

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essay discusses the pros and cons of video

games

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for human entertainment, learning, lifestyle quality, and manners. On the one hand, the benefits of playing video

games

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are so varied.

Firstly

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, when populations play them as a pastime, they do not need partners who are near them to play. In fact, they can play with individuals who live in other countries by using the Internet;

as a result

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, they improve international communities and aid globalization.

Secondly

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, some of them teach populations how they are able to solve their problems inasmuch as some of them are based on improving cognitive functions.

For example

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, playing mathematics

games

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is the best way to teach children to learn math.

On the other hand

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, These

games

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have several demerits on people. The fact

that is

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really crucial is that when they spend most of their leisure time on them, they become obese.

In other words

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, these activities lead people to sedentary lifestyles and increase their weight which is the main factor of some illnesses,

such

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as heart attack.

In addition

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, they impact people's social behaviour because they spend most of their time playing and do not have sufficient time to spend with not only family members but

also

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friends. To summarise, electronic

games

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are the best option for entertainment and interaction with international citizens and teach the community how they have to react when they have matters.

However

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, they have an adverse influence on humans' physical health and face-to-face interactions.

To conclude

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, the drawbacks cannot eclipse the merits.

maryamkazemi968Fri Feb 28 2025

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Task Achievement

Your introduction clearly states the topic and outlines the main points to be discussed, which is great. However, consider providing a clearer thesis statement that directly addresses the advantages and disadvantages more explicitly. This will enhance clarity for the reader.

Coherence and Cohesion

The structure of your essay is logical, with distinct paragraphs for each main point. However, ensure that all points presented are equally developed. The second point mentions social impact but could benefit from specific examples and evidence to strengthen your argument.

Coherence and Cohesion

Try to connect your ideas more fluidly. For instance, using transition words or phrases at the beginning of paragraphs (e.g., 'Additionally,' 'Moreover,' or 'Conversely') can help guide the reader through your arguments.

Coherence and Cohesion

Some sentences are quite complex and may be difficult for readers to follow. Aim for simplicity and clarity in your language to convey your ideas more effectively. This will improve the overall readability of your essay.

Task Achievement

Your essay addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of electronic games, fulfilling the task requirements appropriately.

Task Achievement

You provide some insightful points about the cognitive benefits and social consequences of video games, which show critical thinking.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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13
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

280 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

cognitive functions
problem-solving skills
spatial awareness
multitasking
addiction
attention span
online multiplayer games
teamwork
communication skills
social isolation
economic impact
revenue
financial strain
stress relief
eye strain
poor posture
sedentary lifestyle

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The relatively recent development of games on phones, computers, and TV consoles is extremely popular with people all over the world. What are the advantages and disadvantages of such electronic games?

Your opinion

some people think that students should take gap year to what extent do you agree?

Some schools are very strict about school uniforms and student appearance, while others have a more relaxed dress code. What are the advantages and disadvantages of students wearing school uniforms

Some people regard video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tooL Others, however, believe that videos games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh tne benefits?

Many people think that education in universities should be free for all students no matter what their financial background is. Do you agree or disagree?

As a part of their education, many students work at a company for a short period of time without a salary. Are there more advantages than disadvantages to this?