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Band 4

Nowadays, the internet and television have given ordinary people a chance to become famous. Is this a positive or negative development?

#internet #television #people #chance #development
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There is no iota of doubt that, television and especially the internet have made it possible for
an
Correct article usage
apply
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everyday people to become a celebrity much more easily
in
Change preposition
than in
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 the past.
This
 phenomenon
is offering
Wrong verb form
offers
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 multifarious benefits to people
lead
Wrong verb form
leading
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 to a regular, innocent person having their life memorable.
However
, sometimes a couple of problems emerge
due to
 the same. The following paragraphs
would
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will
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 cast light on the pros and cons of
this
 development.
To begin
 with the bright side, the ability to become popular through digital media obviously leads to the opportunity to become rich and famous.
Therefore
, in the past,
this
 was controlled by film studio executives and record labels, but now a typical person can become a star simply by word of mouth.
For instance
, many popular YouTube stars became famous (and wealthy) simply by their fans sharing their content and
then
 things snowballed from there. On the flip side of the
coil
Correct your spelling
coin
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, there are a handful of nasty consequences as well, the dark side of
this
 ease of access to fame is that it can lead to infamy for a person who maybe did not do much to justify it.
For example
, a new star emerging from the internet or a TV talent show, there are myriad more instances of
Everyday
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every day
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 Joes who have been harassed and had their lives ruined because of public scrutiny.
Furthermore
,
Correct article usage
the
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aforementioned can arise when someone is completely innocent,
such
 as in the case of online bullying, or even when someone seeks out attention but is ruthlessly mocked for trying to do something creative.
To conclude
, an increase in the ability for people to express themselves and their creativity is an enticing thing in general.
Nonetheless
, in
reality
Add a comma
reality,
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 the opportunity to become popular is
also
 the opportunity to become popular for the wrong reasons.
Submitted by shawonbvcps on

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coherence cohesion
Use clear topic sentences for each paragraph to improve the logical structure of the essay.
task achievement
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Your opinion

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If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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