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Band 5.5

In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility. What are your opinions on this?

#countries #children #work #people #responsibility
Many children are involved in a variety of salaried
work
 in many countries. While some people think it is completely wrong, others believe that it is
good
Suggestion
better
 for
thier
of them or themselves
their
there
work
experience
, and vital for becoming responsible adults.
However
, I would argue that paid
work
 helps children to learn and become responsible people. There are several reasons why paid jobs in children could be seen as wrong. One of the possible reasons is that children could be exposed to occupational hazards while working. Some of the places where children are permitted to
work
 include; nightclubs, or construction sites. Most of the time, children are usually not matured enough to handle the dangers of working in these places.
For example
, a child could get beaten up during a fight at the night club, or get injured while lifting heavy construction equipments.
Also
, because children are paid lesser than adults, some employers may prefer
employing
Suggestion
to employ
 children to adult in some positions,
thus
 promoting child labour.
However
, I believe that making children do some
from
the phonological or orthographic sound or appearance of a word that can be used to describe or identify something
form
 of
work
 with pay, helps them to become responsible people and gives them
experience
. When children
engagae
carry out or participate in an activity; be involved in
engage
engaged
engages
 in
this
 form of
work
 and get paid, they can understand the value of money and learn how to spend responsibly.
Furthermore
, when
childeren
a young person of either sex
children
 are involved in some
work especially
Accept comma addition
work, especially
 during the holidays, it keeps them busy and off the streets.
For instance
, during the summer, teenagers can
work
 as a
sales girl
a woman salesperson
salesgirl
 or sales boy in a store,
instead
 of partying during
this
 period.
In addition
, working and getting paid would contribute to building a good working
experience
, which would be good for their
cvs
Suggestion
CVs
selves
cabs
 in
future
Suggestion
the future
. In conclusion, while some people feel it is wrong to encourage children to do some paid
work
, I am of the opinion that paid
work
 helps children to become responsible with money, reduce the incidence of irresponsible behaviour and help them to build a good
work
experience
.
Submitted by Dammy on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Child labor
  • Exploitation
  • Minimum age
  • Work experience
  • Survival
  • Taking responsibility
  • Education
  • Poverty
  • Legal restrictions
  • Physical toll
  • Psychological impact
  • Cultural perceptions
  • International conventions
  • Economic impact
  • Work-study programs
  • Skilled labor
  • Unskilled labor
  • Developing economies
  • Moral implications
  • Professional development
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