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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that the government should take care of disadvantaged people such as the unemployed and homeless people. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #government #care
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Whether
state
Suggestion
the state
 should be responsible to look after
underprivileged class
Suggestion
the underprivileged class
 of the society or not is a widely
debatable
Suggestion
debated
 issue. Some people believe,
government
Use synonyms
 should help the needy individuals
such
Linking Words
 as jobless and those who are without shelter. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss two reasons why I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
 proposition.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, since the
government
Use synonyms
 has
authority
Suggestion
the authority
 and
required resources to help
Suggestion
resources required to help
 people without
job
Suggestion
a job
jobs
, it is the sole institution which can support them on a
country-wide
occurring or extending throughout a country or nation
countrywide
 scale. As the authorities have finances, they can help uplift people's technical capabilities and assist them in becoming employed again. In Pakistan,
for example
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
government
Suggestion
the government
 has established technical training institutions like TEVTA to enhance the
skillset
Suggestion
skill set
 of the unemployed and make them come at par with the current industry standards. Clearly, only
state
Suggestion
the state
 has the potential to aid these deprived folks.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, another reason why regime should be liable to aid the people without shelter is because in the modern democratic system, it is considered to be the primary responsibility of the
government
Use synonyms
 to fulfil fundamental rights of its citizens.
Moreover
Linking Words
, as long the
government
Use synonyms
 is collecting taxes from the opulent segments of the society, it is directly responsible for taking care of the deprived.
For instance
Linking Words
, one of the Scandinavian states Denmark, provides free accommodation to its nationals who cannot afford to live on their own. If we
analyze
consider in detail and subject to an analysis in order to discover essential features or meaning
analyse
 other side of the picture, there are people who argue, when the authorities collect taxes, they should only be spending money on tax-payer's wellbeing and the regime does not possess right to spend their hard earned income on others even if they are poor. To illustrate, if the state is deducting around 40%
from
Suggestion
of
 someone's
salary
Accept comma addition
salary, then
then
Linking Words
 the collected amount must be spent
on
Suggestion
for
 the betterment of the people who are already paying taxes in terms of education, health and transport. To Conclude,
this
Linking Words
 essay explored the reasons why
government
Use synonyms
 should be responsible for looking after the
financially
Suggestion
finances
financial
 dispossessed people. In my opinion, because
government
Use synonyms
 has the resources and funds which it collects from the working class, it is obliged to provide assistance to the poor and help them become
useful member
Suggestion
a useful member
useful members
for
Suggestion
of
 the country.
Submitted by englishteaching0308 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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