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Writing Samples
Band 6

Nowadays we see an increase in social problems involving teenagers. Many peope believe that it is because parents spend more time at work and less with their childern. Do you agree or disagree?

#teenagers #peope #parents #time #work #childern
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In the recent years, there has been an upsurge in the number of social issues pertaining to youngsters. Some people opine that, the key reason behind
this
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 increase is that the parents of these teen aged children dedicate most of their
time
Use synonyms
 at their workplace,
hence
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 they are not able to spend enough
time
Use synonyms
 with them. I completely agree with
this
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 opinion and in my essay I will support my views with examples. Undoubtedly, parents nowadays are struggling hard to make the ends meet and to provide a better future
to
Suggestion
for
 their children. But while doing so, they are unable to pay proper attention to their children.
As a result
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, often it is seen that there is nobody to correct their mistakes. Owing to which these kids are unable to judge between right and wrong behaviour and eventually end
up in acquiring a
Suggestion
up acquiring a
 personality which is unacceptable by the society. To illustrate, these teenagers are often aggressive and short tempered. Because of these characters, they are neglected by their community and
consequently
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 are forced to live a life of isolation.
Also
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, it is seen that these kids often fall prey to certain habits which lead them towards a disastrous life. As working parents spend most of their
time
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 in their workplace, there is no one to monitor the deeds of these youngsters.
Consequently
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, they get indulged in bad habits
example drug
Accept comma addition
example, drug
 addiction, smoking and alcoholism. These youths when introduced into the society, may get involved in unwanted altercations and ultimately may end up in legal actions against them. If parents spend adequate
time
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 with their children and understand their behaviour, they may not get steeped into these undesired habits. In conclusion, I strongly concur that parent's proper attention towards their children plays a crucial role in the upbringing of their offspring. If the parents do not spend enough
time
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 with them, they may become aggressive and may
also
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 get attracted towards detrimental habits
Submitted by priyapanchal147 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • prevalence
  • supervision
  • guidance
  • emotional support
  • peer groups
  • negative influences
  • quality family time
  • exacerbating
  • psychological development
  • neglect
  • depression
  • anxiety
  • societal pressures
  • availability
  • after-school activities
  • multifaceted approach
What to do next:
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