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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that if people are allowed to work after the age of 60, it will cause some problems. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #work #age
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It is argued that population who works later at the age of 60, will cause some troubles. The essay agrees with
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 statement because older people have a weak immune system and are ineffective enough to fulfil one's duties in a working community. Having a healthy body is an important thing to consider when applying for a job. During at the retirement age, most individuals are not suitable enough in performing his or her role.
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 sentence was supported by Doc Willie Ong in an interview conducted to him through CNN Philippines
last
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 June 2018. At some time, these groups of people are more prone to different diseases because of having a weaker immune system. According to Dr. Mayo's clinic blog about geriatric patients, it says that about 85% of the population are doing regular check ups and having maintenance medicines. If the community allows these citizens to work, it could result in an increase health risk for them. Engaging in work requires a well fitted body and an attentive mind. How can the elders concentrate with their task when they are having the problem of remembering. According to a study conducted by the Cambridge University in 2012, entitled "How to Deal Pressure and Stress in a Working Environment ", it said that one's tension was due to the pressure in a working area. Having a lot of things to think and being constrained to the deadline of the task given can increase the menace of emotional sickness. Even young generations experience
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 situation, how much more will it result in an elder who are weaker. If
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 happens, one's job will be affected in an unnecessary way. The age of 60 and above are considered senior citizens already.
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 is the time for elders where they should rest at their respective homes while enjoying the sunset or playing with their grandchildren. In conclusion, geriatric patients who still work at
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 period can lead to a serious problem on their health both in physical and emotional being. Through
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, the working place will
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 affect.
Submitted by gdtenebroso on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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