It is better for college students to live far away from home than live at home with their parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Students
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face many difficulties in their
studying
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studies
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.Sometimes, they study abroad and live far away from their families. Some people argue that
students
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should not live with their
parents
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. They prefer to live alone or with their
friends
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. Personally, I think that learners should stay with their
parents
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because they will help them to improve themselves. In
this
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essay, I will discuss both opinions and shed light on my views.
To begin
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with, living without your family
teach
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teaches
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the person many lessons. There many people think that
,
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apply
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staying alone has advantages.
Firstly
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,
Student's
Correct article usage
the Student's
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personality will become very strong.
For instance
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, they can take their decision and solve their problems by themselves.
Secondly
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,
Students
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will be more social because they will meet many people from different cultures and traditions.
Thirdly
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, they can improve their ability and skill by learning a new language.
Lastly
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, learners will feel freedom and have a fun time with their
friends
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.
On the other hand
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, family give their children safety and love. So
students
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who live with their
parents
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will be more happy because their family will encourage them.
In addition
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, they will eat healthy food because their mother will cook tasty food. I think they will save them from bad
friends
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and guide them
to
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in
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the right way because they have more experience.
Moreover
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, the atmosphere of home will be more comfortable.
To sum up
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, college
students
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like to experience everything. They want to be independent and have their own opinions and decisions. I think they should live with their
parents
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or near them.
Parents
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will protect them from many faults and bad behaviours but they should
also
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give them a chance to do something new and meet their
friends
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outside.
Submitted by mrym05411 on

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task achievement
Try to develop and support your arguments with more specific examples or evidence. For instance, in the section discussing the benefits of living at home, you could provide more detailed examples or data supporting how parental guidance prevents faults and bad behaviors.
coherence cohesion
Transitional words and phrases can be used more effectively to enhance the logical flow between ideas. This will make the argument easier to follow and understand.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, framing the argument well and making it easy for the reader to follow the main points.
task achievement
The essay presents both sides of the argument before providing a personal view, indicating a balanced approach to the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • independence
  • responsibility
  • life skills
  • budgeting
  • cooking
  • time management
  • social integration
  • networking
  • extracurricular activities
  • academic resources
  • distractions
  • cultural exposure
  • personal development
  • global understanding
  • self-discovery
  • personal growth
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