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Band 6

It is no longer necessary that animals should be slaughtered and made into either human foodstuffs or non-foodstuffs, such as fur and medicine. Do you agree or disagree?

#animals #foodstuffs #non-foodstuffs #fur #medicine
It is said that animals will be unnecessary to be used in many areas in the near future. In my opinion,
although
 there are many ways by which animal products can be replaced, people will still need to
use
 for food, clothing, and medical research. On the one hand, killing animals for any purposes is cruel and immoral, so governments and institutions should try to avoid slaughtering and using animals.
Firstly
, people can turn to eat vegetarian or alternative foods
instead
 of meat.
Besides
, with the advancement of science, many studies about alternative foods which taste like
meats but
Accept comma addition
meats, but
 are still safe for people’s health have been being conducted, and many studies became successful.
Secondly
, in the clothing industry, using
animals can be
Suggestion
animals can also be
also
 minimized.
For example
, animals’
fur
 used for making clothes can be replaced by synthetic
fur
 and synthetic
silk which
Accept comma addition
silk, which
 look as good as the real thing.
Additionally
, people should
use
 clothes made
by
Suggestion
of
from
 synthetic
fur
 and synthetic silk
instead
 of animals’
fur
.
Thirdly
, today, scientists are
also
 trying to limit the
use
 of animals for research and trials.
On the other hand
, despite of efforts limiting the
use
 of animals, people cannot completely stop using animals.
Firstly
, fish and meat are necessary for people in most meals with vitamins, minerals and proteins.
In addition
, alternative meat is usually expensive and not popular, and may not provide enough nutrition.
Secondly
, it is impossible to conduct medical studies without using animals.
For instance
, unless medical researchers conduct
study
Suggestion
studies
 about a new treatment method or a new medicine with trials on animals, it will be very dangerous to
use
 the treatment method or medicine on humans. In conclusion, I believe that respecting animals’ right to live and limiting the
use
 of animals for any purposes are good, but it is impossible to completely stop using animals.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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