The diagram illustrates the process that is used to manufacture bricks for the building industry.

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The diagram describes the way in which

bricks

Use synonyms

are produced for the building industry.

Overall

Linking Words

, the process consists of seven stages, beginning with the digging of clay and ending up with the delivery.

Firstly

Linking Words

, the process starts with the digging of clay which serves as the raw material in brick manufacturing. After that, clay is placed on a metal grid generating a residue which is rolled on a roller.

Then

Linking Words

the rolled mass is mixed with sand and water generating a paste,

this

Linking Words

paste is moulded or

send

Wrong verb form

sent

show examples

through a cutter to generate

bricks

Use synonyms

. In the

Linking Words

stage,

bricks

Use synonyms

are dried in a drying oven for 24 to 48 hours.

Following

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

bricks

Use synonyms

are heated in a kiln at

moderate

Add an article

a moderate

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temperature of range 200-900 degree Celsius followed by heating at

high

Add an article

a high

show examples

temperature which rises

till

Change preposition

show examples

870-1300 degree Celsius.

Linking Words

, heated

bricks

Use synonyms

are placed in a cooling chamber for 48 to 72 hours.

Subsequently

Linking Words

, cooled

bricks

Use synonyms

are packed and

finally

Linking Words

, they are delivered and

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

ready for use.

GouthamMon Sep 23 2019

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "next".

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.

Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words bricks with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

167 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

diagram
manufacture
bricks
building industry
process
dig
prepare
clay
mold
shape
dry
fire
kiln
cool
package
fired
overview
importance

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The diagram illustrates the process that is used to manufacture bricks for the building industry.

Caring for children is probably the most important job in any society. Because of this, all mothers and fathers should be required to take a course that prepares them to be good parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

In many countries, the number of people suffering from stress is increasing. What do you think are the causes of this problem and what measures could be taken to tackle it?

Many countries believe that international tourism has harmful effects. Why do they think so? What can be done to change their views?