The diagram illustrates the process that is used to manufacture bricks for the building industry.

#process #bricks #industry

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The diagram describes the way in which

bricks

Use synonyms

are produced for the building industry.

Overall

Linking Words

, the process consists of seven stages, beginning with the digging of clay and ending up with the delivery.

Firstly

Linking Words

, the process starts with the digging of clay which serves as the raw material in brick manufacturing. After that, clay is placed on a metal grid generating a residue which is rolled on a roller.

Then

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the rolled mass is mixed with sand and water generating a paste,

this

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paste is moulded or

send

Wrong verb form

sent

show examples

through a cutter to generate

bricks

Use synonyms

. In the

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stage,

bricks

Use synonyms

are dried in a drying oven for 24 to 48 hours.

Following

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

bricks

Use synonyms

are heated in a kiln at

moderate

Add an article

a moderate

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temperature of range 200-900 degree Celsius followed by heating at

high

Add an article

a high

show examples

temperature which rises

till

Change preposition

show examples

870-1300 degree Celsius.

Linking Words

, heated

bricks

Use synonyms

are placed in a cooling chamber for 48 to 72 hours.

Subsequently

Linking Words

, cooled

bricks

Use synonyms

are packed and

finally

Linking Words

, they are delivered and

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

ready for use.

Submitted by Goutham on Mon Sep 23 2019

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "next".

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.

Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words bricks with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

167 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

diagram
manufacture
bricks
building industry
process
dig
prepare
clay
mold
shape
dry
fire
kiln
cool
package
fired
overview
importance

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The diagram illustrates the process that is used to manufacture bricks for the building industry.

Some people think that success in life comes from hard-working and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some say that news have no connection with most people’s life and it is waste of time for most of us to read newspaper and watch television new programs Do you agree or disagree

In many countries, more and more people choose to buy imported food rather than food produced locally. Why people buy imported food? What could be done to encourage people to buy local food?

The idea of having a single career is becoming an old fashioned one. The new fashion will be to have several careers or ways of earning money and further education will be something that continues throughout life.

As computers are being used more and more in education, there will soon be no role for the teachers in classrooms. What extent do you agree or disagree