The diagram illustrates the process that is used to manufacture bricks for the building industry.

The diagram illustrates the process that is used to manufacture bricks for the building industry.
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The diagram describes the way in which
bricks
Use synonyms
are produced for the building industry.
Overall
Linking Words
, the process consists of seven stages, beginning with the digging of clay and ending up with the delivery.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the process starts with the digging of clay which serves as the raw material in brick manufacturing. After that, clay is placed on a metal grid generating a residue which is rolled on a roller.
Then
Linking Words
the rolled mass is mixed with sand and water generating a paste,
this
Linking Words
paste is moulded or
send
Wrong verb form
sent
show examples
through a cutter to generate
bricks
Use synonyms
. In the
next
Linking Words
stage,
bricks
Use synonyms
are dried in a drying oven for 24 to 48 hours.
Following
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
,
bricks
Use synonyms
are heated in a kiln at
moderate
Add an article
a moderate
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temperature of range 200-900 degree Celsius followed by heating at
high
Add an article
a high
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temperature which rises
till
Change preposition
to
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870-1300 degree Celsius.
Next
Linking Words
, heated
bricks
Use synonyms
are placed in a cooling chamber for 48 to 72 hours.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, cooled
bricks
Use synonyms
are packed and
finally
Linking Words
, they are delivered and
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
ready for use.
Submitted by Goutham on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "next".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words bricks with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • diagram
  • manufacture
  • bricks
  • building industry
  • process
  • dig
  • prepare
  • clay
  • mold
  • shape
  • dry
  • fire
  • kiln
  • cool
  • package
  • fired
  • overview
  • importance
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