Some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play with.What are the advantages and disadvantages for the child of having large numbers of toys.

#parents #children #toys #child #numbers

Compaired

Suggestion

Compared

to the past parents buy toys more than before. Having

benefits

Suggestion

benefited

to the children to play with more toys. When in the childhood, toys are very important

Suggestion

for

the children to

ocerall development

Suggestion

the overall development

overall development

of their skills.

How ever

Suggestion

However

, having more toys not only getting

advantages but

Accept comma addition

advantages, but

also

drawbacks are there. In my way of thinking, children playing with more toys

candevelop

Suggestion

can develop

them by physically and

mentaly

in your mind

mentally

. Children learn to share with others by playing with more toys.

For instance

, playing ball and doing some games with cards.

that

Suggestion

That

is very important to

siciety

an extended social group having a distinctive cultural and economic organization

society

to develop with good ideas.

Moreover

, children learn how

tocare

Suggestion

to care

othersby

Suggestion

others by

playing.

For instance

, girls love to play with dolls.The little girls are washing and bathing them. Not only that

Accept space

they are feeding and

also

doing some works like their mothers. On that way, the children can learn some responsibilities about the family.

However

, there are some

diadvantages

the quality of having an inferior or less favorable position

disadvantages

also

canview

Suggestion

can view

from the children play with more toys.

some

Suggestion

Some

parentsare

Suggestion

parents are

buying bad toys to the children like guns and

knifes

Suggestion

knives

. While children are playing with bad

behaviors

manner of acting or controlling yourself

behaviour

behaviours

Further more

in addition

Furthermore

Accept space

when children have more toys, they

can not

cannot

manage them and they are not capable to protect them. In

conclution

a position or opinion or judgment reached after consideration

conclusion

conclusions

ofanalysis

Suggestion

of the analysis

of analysis

of that topic, children can receive more benefits rather than drawbacks. In my

openinon

a personal belief or judgment that is not founded on proof or certainty

opinion

Accept space

parents should have to buy toys which are not

g iving

the act of giving

giving

bad

impactto

Suggestion

impact to

children.

Submitted by sanliya1982 on Mon Sep 23 2019

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28Grammar mistakes
 

6 paragraphs

231 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

stimulate creativity
imagination
fine and gross motor skills
hand-eye coordination
overwhelmed
focus
value
appreciation
neglect
consumerism
materialism
meaningful activities
interactions

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Some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play with.What are the advantages and disadvantages for the child of having large numbers of toys.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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