IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8

Some people think that way to reduce crimes is long term prisons while others think that there are other ways. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #crimes #term #prisons
It is thought by many that increase the
prison
 time is the only solution to deter criminals to do crimes while others believe that there are some other ways to tackle
this
 issue,
such
 as an
education
 and more surveillance on criminals.
This
 essay will discuss both views of the statement,
however
, I believe that an
education
 and the surveillance play significant role in reducing the number of the crimes. There are some reasons behind that why some people think exceeding
prison
 time will decrease the crime rates.
First
 of all, the threat of
prison
 time deters the criminals from convicting crimes.
In other words
, they always have a fear to go behind the bars for their rest of life. Owing to
this
, they can think twice or thrice before convicting the offends. In the US,
for example
, there is a law for the felony crimes,
such
 as murders, kidnapping, rape and many more, to send the criminals behind the bars for over 20 years.
Therefore
,
this
 helps to decrease the number of offenders.
On the other hand
, providing good
education
 is an important method to reduce misdemeanours or crimes.
This
 helps them to get good jobs and earn money for their needs, they do not need to do theft or robbery for fulfilling their requirements. To illustrate, studies showed that uneducated people were more likely to involved in illegal activities than educated ones. Apart from
this
, an increase in the surveillance by using CCTV camera in different parts of the cities to identify the offenders easily.
This
 is
also
 one solution to decrease offences. In conclusion,
although
 an increasing sentence
prison
 are helping to deter the wrong doings by criminals, I personally believe that an
education
 and cameras in the streets of cities more helps to decline crimes.
Submitted by jhldeep on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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