IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The urban transport system receives more funds compared to the rural transport system? Why do you think it is so? How can it be solved.

#transport #system #funds
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Nowadays, urban areas are growing
in
Change preposition
at
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 a fast pace,
Linking Words
as
Correct word choice
and as
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 a
result
Add the comma(s)
result,
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 governments invest a lot of money in the
transport
Use synonyms
network
Use synonyms
 of the cities,
while
Linking Words
 rural areas receive less funds for
this
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purposes
Fix the agreement mistake
purpose
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. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss what kinds of issues are associated with it and probable solutions
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 them. Owing
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
 problem of funding in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 rural
transport
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 sector, lack of funds means
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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 of
road
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 infrastructure, which
is apparently leads
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apparently leads
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 to
decline
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the decline
a decline
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of
Change preposition
in
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growth
Correct article usage
the growth
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 of a certain area.
This
Linking Words
 is because a good
road
Use synonyms
network
Use synonyms
 is absolutely necessary for any kind of construction and development.
In addition
Linking Words
, we can observe impassable roads and not enough public
transport
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 in the country. Frankly speaking, a
road
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network
Use synonyms
 so poor, it is “not fit to support the rural economy’.
As a result
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, country dwellers feel “left behind” and “
of
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off
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 the radar” with
absence
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the absence
an absence
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 of public services and attention from the government towards their issues.
However
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, there are
few
Correct article usage
a few
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 ways to tackle the problems associated with the limited availability of public
transport
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 in areas facing remoteness. First and foremost, authorities should increase the budget for funding of rural transportation system. The second step will be
addition
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the addition
an addition
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 of paved roads to
rural
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the rural
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road
Use synonyms
network
Use synonyms
 in
such
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way
Correct article usage
a way
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as
Correct word choice
that
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them
Change the pronoun
they
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 are connected to strategic points for survival
such
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 as hospitals, schools, shops,
churches
Correct word choice
and churches
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 and make them accessible for the
major
Correct your spelling
majority
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 of
countryside
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the countryside
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.
As well as
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this
Linking Words
, a bus fleet of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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public
transport
Use synonyms
 should be increased and new bus routes should be added. These measures will help country people to improve their quality of life, seeing the development of the area will encourage local habitats to stay in villages, and the economy of the region will
be inevitably grow
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inevitably grow
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. In conclusion, I believe that
transportation
Correct article usage
the transportation
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 system of
rural
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the rural
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 sector should not be neglected by the government and it should be sufficiently funded as
Use synonyms
road
Add an article
the road
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network
Use synonyms
 is
fundamental
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a fundamental
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 part of regional
economy
Replace the word
economic
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 growth and sustainable development.
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coherence cohesion
Please provide a more detailed analysis of the issues and solutions presented. Your essay lacks clarity and coherence. The structure of your essay needs improvement, and the ideas are not consistently supported throughout the essay.
task achievement
Your essay should address the prompt more comprehensively and thoroughly. Ensure that the issues and solutions are clearly and explicitly discussed, and support your ideas with relevant examples and evidence.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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