The only way to solve increasing crime rate of young offenders is to teach parents better parenting skills. To what extent do you agree?

#crime #rate #offenders #parents #skills

Increased incidence of crimes

commited

bound or obligated, as under a pledge to a particular cause, action, or attitude

committed

by young children is a growing concern

nowadys

the period of time that is happening now; any continuous stretch of time including the moment of speech

nowadays

. Many people believe that primary prevention, by improving parental teaching abilities, is the most important method in decreasing these crimes.

Although

I agree it is an important issue, the effect our

sociaty

an extended social group having a distinctive cultural and economic organization

society

has on the

childs

Suggestion

child's

children

children's

child

maturation and

desicion

the act of making up your mind about something

decision

making is as important and should not be neglected.

Parental

Suggestion

Parenting

skills

Suggestion

are

important in the development of the child's character. By proper parental teaching and directions, the boy learns about moral borders and ethics, what is right and wrong and how to react properly to a social interaction.

As a

result he

Accept comma addition

result, he

recievs

get something; come into possession of

receives

skills which

allows

Suggestion

allow

him to integrate into our community, and

decreas

decrease in size, extent, or range

decrease

decreased

decreases

substantially the rate of him

becomming

according with custom or propriety

becoming

and offender. The importance of these skills was seen in an educational program performed among released offenders in Israel. By teaching them about proper parental education, the rates of crimes committed by their siblings

was

Suggestion

were

10% less in comparison to other inmate's children. Despite the major effect parents have on their children, I believe our society has a much stronger impact on our

childrens

Suggestion

children's

children

character. Our kids absorb the environment, and learn how to react to social interactions based on it. As a consequence, boys who are exposed to violent and illegal acts will have a higher chance of

behaiving

behave in a certain manner; show a certain behavior; conduct or comport oneself

behaving

similarly

. To illustrate, a research

perofomed

carry out or perform an action

performed

by the Harvard University, reported that the rates of crimes committed by children

Suggestion

are

10% higher among boys who were exposed to violent acts in their residential area, regardless of the

parents

Suggestion

parent

parents'

education. To conclude,

although

parental skills are important in decreasing the rate of crimes, I believe social factors play a stronger role.

Submitted by chilafp on Tue Sep 24 2019

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

282 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
Rich people are getting richer, and poor people are getting poorer. The gap between rich and poor people is widening. What problems can the situation cause? What can be done to reduce this gap?
In this intensively competitive world, rich people are a have greater chance to get richer than poor individuals. The main causes of this phenomenon incorporates various factors such as higher chance of getting a well-paid job opportunities by rich people, which leads to earn grand amounts of money. In the next sentences the causes will be elaborated precisely.
<4
band
In the past, knowledge was stored in books. Today, people stored knowledge on the internet.
Nowadays, due to the advancement of technology, people store their information and knowledge on the Internet, while in the past traditional methods were used.
5.5
band
Some people think that too much attention and too many resources are given to the protection of wild animal and birds. Do you agree or disagree?
In recent times, people hold conflicting views about whether authorities spend too much money and labor on protecting endangered animals and birds. I am convinced that the efforts the government uses for this purpose are sufficient and this essay serves to make it clear.
7
band
Some educationists think that international exchange visits will benefit the teenagers at the school. To what extent do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
Many education experts believe that the global transfer will be beneficial for the youth. While critics raise a valid argument, the advantages of the program are worth the drawbacks. In this essay, I shall explain that while the students will face some hardness, they will acquire valuable and unique experiences that are essential for them in the long run.
5
band
What do you think about celebrities? Are celebrities good or bad for you?
As people focus more on entertaining themselves, celebrities and shows can be seen almost everywhere on TV, magazines, social media… Is idolizing famous people harmless or harmful to us? And thus, will their popularity have a bad influence on any of us. Though I personally believe not.

The only way to solve increasing crime rate of young offenders is to teach parents better parenting skills. To what extent do you agree?

Fully explain your ideas

Rich people are getting richer, and poor people are getting poorer. The gap between rich and poor people is widening. What problems can the situation cause? What can be done to reduce this gap?

In the past, knowledge was stored in books. Today, people stored knowledge on the internet.

Some people think that too much attention and too many resources are given to the protection of wild animal and birds. Do you agree or disagree?

Some educationists think that international exchange visits will benefit the teenagers at the school. To what extent do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

What do you think about celebrities? Are celebrities good or bad for you?