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Band 5

Nowadays parents fulfill all the demands of their children and allow them to do everything. Is it good for them or not

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Introduction
Everything undergoes a sea of changes with the passage of time, and the way of nurturing children is
also
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 not an exception. In modern ti
me,
Suggestion
times
offsprings are being provided enough freedom along with whatever they required by their parents. While
this
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 approach has certain benefits, disadvantages for outweigh them.
Body paragraph 1
To embark with, several children have been going astray due to limitless independence. Since the parents not bother about their young ones' friend circle, they may come in contact of ill mannered and bad peers .
To
Accept space
.
 il
lustraye,
clarify by giving an example of
illustrate
as per su
rvey b
Suggestion
a survey
y Yale University, 60% of the yo
unsters h
a young person of either sex
youngsters
ave started consuming various drugs on account of their peer group.in
volve i
Suggestion
Involve
n some in desirable activities ranging from taking drugs today's aware the people who has trust as per su
rvey b
Suggestion
a survey
y Yale University, 60% of the youngsters have started consuming various drugs on account of their group.
Body paragraph 2
Moreover
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,
this
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 notion has affected study and career of pupils. The reason being, modern parents allowed their children to choose co
urse a
Suggestion
courses
a course
the course
ccording to their interest. Owing to
this
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 many of the young individuals prefer to follow he
rd mentality.
Suggestion
the herd mentality
a herd mentality
In other wo
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rds being i
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words, being
mmature students try to opt the course of study that has been chosen by ma
jority i
Suggestion
a majority
the majority
n the surroundings. Eventually, they suffer a lot in future,o
r
Accept space
,
sometimes leave their studies in between which certainly has de
trimental effect o
Suggestion
a detrimental effect
detrimental effects
n their mental and Physical health too.
Body paragraph 3
On the other ha
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nd giving f
Accept comma addition
hand, giving
reedom to children can prove to be beneficial, for they do not suffer from any sort of stress and pressure and can achieve their goals smoothly.
In ad
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dition they
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addition, they
also
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 learn to live in
dependently which i
Accept comma addition
independently, which
s an imperative skill to compete on gl
obal level i
Suggestion
a global level
the global level
n today's era.
Therefore
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, they have large opportunities at
w
Suggestion
in
orkplaces after completion of degrees or diploma.
For instance
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, employers on the
first
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 hand recruit employees who are sharp as well as able to work without apprehensions.
Conclusion
To conclude, required freedom may lead to develop necessary skills in children;
however
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, ex
cess o
Suggestion
an excess
f it, and to fu
lfill a
put in effect
fulfil
ll the desires of them lead to unavoidable circumstances
such
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 as wr
ong choice o
Suggestion
a wrong choice
the wrong choice
f career and friends.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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