In many countries nowadays, young single people no longer stay with their parents until they are married, but leave to study or work somewhere else. Do you think this trend has more advantages or disadvantages?

#countries #people #parents #study #work #trend

It is a fact that the younger generation, nowadays, migrates to various places for better

education

or employment

opportunity

Fix the agreement mistake

opportunities

show examples

However

this

phenomenon makes them stay away from the family until they are married. It seems that

this

trend

has merits which might outweigh the demerits. On the one hand, it is often said that the young generation migrates to various continents for study or work which might bring some advantages.

Firstly

, the standard

education

that students might obtain if they move away from their parents.

For instance

, annually, 20 million Indian young

people

travel Overseas to

posses

Correct your spelling

possess

show examples

standard

education

Secondly

, a good career prospect might

obtain

Wrong verb form

be obtained

show examples

once young

people

move to

progress

Replace the word

progressive

show examples

cities. To illustrate, Hyderabad, Bangalore, and New Delhi are the Metropolitan cities in

India

which provide lucrative jobs;

hence

, most of the job aspirants in countryside

India

, travel to these kinds of cities.

Last

but not

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

least,

due to

migration for various purposes to new places might lead young

people

to explore different cultures

Correct word choice

and, thus

show examples

thus

, broad practical experience that the youth get. To exemplify, Trivandrum,

India

, is the best place for diverse cultural

people

On the other hand

, even though

this

trend

has enormous benefits, there are a few drawbacks. The first disadvantage might be that family bonding is disturbed if

children

prolonged

Verb problem

spend

show examples

time

stay

Verb problem

apply

show examples

outside. To specify, Tamil Nadu state,

India

is the best example that most of the families in

this

jurisdiction suffer immensely

due to

lack

Correct article usage

a lack

show examples

of love and affection

with

Change preposition

for

show examples

their

children

because these

children

stay

Wrong verb form

have stayed

show examples

in Malaysia for the past several years.

Moreover

children

might forget the family's tradition and culture if a long time stays away from the family.

Therefore

, migration to other places might disturb family bonding. In conclusion, it is true that nowadays, most of the youth migrate

Change preposition

for

show examples

various reasons for study or work.

This

trend

brings not only a few drawbacks

such

as family bonding disturbance and forgetting family

tradition

Fix the agreement mistake

traditions

show examples

, but

also

some benefits like the standard

education

as well as

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

good career

prospect

Fix the agreement mistake

prospects

show examples

. Indeed,

this

trend

brings more advantages than disadvantages.

Tue Sep 24 2019

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction
Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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15Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

1 paragraphs

346 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In many countries nowadays, young single people no longer stay with their parents until they are married, but leave to study or work somewhere else. Do you think this trend has more advantages or disadvantages?

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Some people say History is one of most important school subjects other people think that, in today world,subject like science and technology are more important than History.

There are both problems and benefits for high school students study plays and works of theatres written centuries ago. Discuss and use your own experience.

Some people say that children should start learning a foreign language when they are 7 years old, but other believe that they should start when they are 18 years old. discuss both views and write your own opinion.