You have planned to study in Australia. You have sent a letter to a college, but you have not received a reply from college. Write a letter to the college principal. In your letter, - you should give details of the course that you wished to do, - say why do you choose to study at the college, - say why you need the reply soon.

#study #australia #college #course

Dear Sir, I am writing

this

letter to you to enquire about the admission criteria for overseas students. I

also

wrote you a letter

last

month, but I did not get a reply from your officials. To

embark

Verb problem

begin

show examples

with, I am interested in doing a Master’s in Public Health which is a

one year

Add a hyphen

one-year

show examples

course with

thesis

Correct article usage

a thesis

show examples

. Because I

have

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

completed my graduation in

medicines

Fix the agreement mistake

medicine

show examples

in 2016, I thought that it

Wrong verb form

was

show examples

the most appropriate course to start a

carrier

Correct your spelling

career

show examples

as a researcher. What is more, I

choose

Wrong verb form

chose

show examples

this

college

because

this

is the world's

5th ranked

Add a hyphen

5th-ranked

show examples

university producing thousands of competent graduates every year, who are working all over the world.

In addition

, I am

also

told by my cousin, who is an ex-student of the

college

, that professors are very devoted, loyal and faithful to their profession, and

college

Correct article usage

the college

show examples

provides

state of the art

Add a hyphen

state-of-the-art

show examples

facilities to their students.

As another

Change preposition

Another

show examples

university in the town is offering me admission in the same course, but I

will

Wrong verb form

would

show examples

prefer your

college

to pursue my

further

studies.

Therefore

, If I am not eligible for admission,

then

I would not waste my academic year, as their deadline is approaching. I would like to request you kindly let me know at the earliest. I look forward to hearing from you soon. Yours faithfully, Maryam Khan

Wed Sep 25 2019

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coherence cohesion

The logical structure of the letter is well-organized overall, but the greeting and closing could be improved for a more appropriate and professional tone.

task achievement

The response is complete and relevant to the task, with a suitable writing tone. However, the greeting and closing could be revised to better match the formality of the letter.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

221 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

some people believe that social media sites, such as Facebook or Twitter, have a negative impact on young people and their abiliy to form personal relationships. other believe that these sites bring people together in beneficial way. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, more people would rather purchase food than cook at home. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

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Many governments think that economic progress is the most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both views and give your opinion

The Education of young people is the main priority in countries around the world. some believe that educating adults who cannot read or write is essential for society and more funding should be made available for it. To what extent do you agree or disagree?