IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In most countries multinational companies and their products are becoming more and more important. This trend is seriously damaging our quality of life.

#countries #companies #products #trend #quality #life
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Globalization in our industrial world
become
Suggestion
becomes
 more important than the past. One of the effect of globalization is international companies try to find
new
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new markets
a new market
market
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 for
production
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 around the world. Some people believe these
Use synonyms
market
Suggestion
markets
 are useful, but it is clear that these
Use synonyms
market
Suggestion
markets
 have
bad effect
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a bad effect
 on
host
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 countries and people. I agree with
this
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 idea that international companies and their
production
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 change
quality
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the quality
 of our life. I have some reason for that.
First
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 of all, people
on
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in
of
host
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 countries are depended on these productions.
Moreover
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, these
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production
Suggestion
productions
 sometimes change
their style life
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their life style
.
For example
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, KFC has a lot of
branch
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branches
 around the world. People prefer to eat KFC
instead
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 of local foods. In additional,
production
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 of international companies most of the time
do not have
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does not have
 standard of destination countries.
For example
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, some sunscreen lotion that sold in
host
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 countries, it does not good. Forever,
market
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 of
national
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nations
 countries
make
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makes
 a lot of jobs
for
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in
host
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 countries. If someday these companies decide to move their
market
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 or shut down their
market
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, people who work in these
market
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 lost their jobs.
Finally
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, most of the
time national
Accept comma addition
time, national
 companies try to sell their
production
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 cheaper to find more consumers. It causes local companies cannot compete with these productions, because their products are more expensive than national companies. To sum up, I believe we cannot close
door
Suggestion
the door
 on
production
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 of national
companies but
Accept comma addition
companies, but
 we must try to use local
production
Use synonyms
 more. We should try to improve and expand our culture, productions as much as we can.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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