IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

In most countries multinational companies and their products are becoming more and more important. This trend is seriously damaging our quality of life.

#countries #companies #products #trend #quality #life
Globalization in our industrial world
become
Suggestion
becomes
 more important than the past. One of the effect of globalization is international companies try to find
new
Suggestion
new markets
a new market
market
 for
production
 around the world. Some people believe these
market
Suggestion
markets
 are useful, but it is clear that these
market
Suggestion
markets
 have
bad effect
Suggestion
a bad effect
 on
host
 countries and people. I agree with
this
 idea that international companies and their
production
 change
quality
Suggestion
the quality
 of our life. I have some reason for that.
First
 of all, people
on
Suggestion
in
of
host
 countries are depended on these productions.
Moreover
, these
production
Suggestion
productions
 sometimes change
their style life
Suggestion
their life style
.
For example
, KFC has a lot of
branch
Suggestion
branches
 around the world. People prefer to eat KFC
instead
 of local foods. In additional,
production
 of international companies most of the time
do not have
Suggestion
does not have
 standard of destination countries.
For example
, some sunscreen lotion that sold in
host
 countries, it does not good. Forever,
market
 of
national
Suggestion
nations
 countries
make
Suggestion
makes
 a lot of jobs
for
Suggestion
in
host
 countries. If someday these companies decide to move their
market
 or shut down their
market
, people who work in these
market
 lost their jobs.
Finally
, most of the
time national
Accept comma addition
time, national
 companies try to sell their
production
 cheaper to find more consumers. It causes local companies cannot compete with these productions, because their products are more expensive than national companies. To sum up, I believe we cannot close
door
Suggestion
the door
 on
production
 of national
companies but
Accept comma addition
companies, but
 we must try to use local
production
 more. We should try to improve and expand our culture, productions as much as we can.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: