Adults do very less Exercise these days .Some people think that showing sporting events on television such as Olympics and world cup tournaments can be the best way to encourage adults to do exercise , others believe there are other effective ways to do so. Discuss both views and state your opinion

#adults #exercise #people #events #television #olympics #world #cup #tournaments

Performing physical activities are mandatory to live healthy.

Howeve

Suggestion

However

, nowadays adults

are giving

Suggestion

are given

less attention towards

exercise

.Some individual hold the perception that by telecasting sports events through television is appropriate method

Accept space

while some believe other alternatives

such

as cheap cost of gyms along with doing

exercise

by other family members can

also

motivate them.

This

essay

firstly

throws a light on both view points,

nonetheless

this

essay stands with

latter view

Suggestion

the latter view

because of

presence

Suggestion

the presence

of other ways. As above mentioned, advocates of former view have an idea that some sports events through Tv can capture the attention of adults.To explain it more, sometimes, when people watch

sports performing

Accept comma addition

sports, performing

by players, they examine their stamina, their physical fitness, can lead them towards doing

exercise

which

is basic necessity

Suggestion

is a basic necessity

to live fit.Some people,

for example

gives

Suggestion

give

the consent that they are

prefering

make ready or suitable or equip in advance for a particular purpose or for some use, event, etc

preparing

referring

to do some activities because of the impact of watching some sports

Accept space

it proves that watching sports can have long lasting impact on the mentality of individuals.

However

, others have notion that some other ways can be implemented to encourage adults as government can install gyms in proximity of local areas at low cost which everybody can afford

Accept space

and it can be a suitable to put forth

this

process. As, it is true that sometimes people deny the idea to go to gyms because of

exorbitant price

Suggestion

the exorbitant price

exorbitant prices

enterence

something that provides access (to get in or get out)

entrance

intolerance

Suggestion

these places.To add to it, if family members are interested in doing

exercise

such

as jogging, running, walking, they can easily get the company of others by telling them the benefits of these things, who

are doing

Suggestion

is doing

nothing in

this

field. It can be explained better by an example, in my locality children of my neighbour used to go for morning walk which is instructed to them by their teachers

Accept space

with the passing of days they have

also

encouraged their parents to involve in it. In

this

way, they now are getting benefits of exercises only because of

effects

Suggestion

the effects

of their offsprings. To conclude,

this

essay has discussed both ideas as

explianed

make plain and comprehensible

explained

earlier.But, it believes only one method

such

as television documentaries regarding sports are not enough.Some other substitutes which are fully elaborated in the form of establishment of gyms along with family members' endeavours can

also

prove a boon for adults to do

exercise

and to enjoy a disease free long span of life.

Submitted by naresh on Fri Sep 27 2019

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

393 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Adults do very less Exercise these days .Some people think that showing sporting events on television such as Olympics and world cup tournaments can be the best way to encourage adults to do exercise , others believe there are other effective ways to do so. Discuss both views and state your opinion

Fully explain your ideas

Students may have some problems with health such as eye strain and sleep issues because of the time mostly spent on laptop or computer. And maybe students become more adictted with social media if they use it at school and at home.

Some people believe that advertisements aimed at children should be banned. Others argue that advertisements have a positive impact on children. Discuss both views and give your opinion.