IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

If children behave badly, parents should be punished. To what extent do you agree?

#children #parents
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Children learn from their parents and they tend to act as they see from their parents.
However
Linking Words
, it is often argued that parents should be disciplined for children’s bad
behavior
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviour
.
Although
Linking Words
 I partly agree that parents should be punished due to their children because there may be cases where parents are accomplices. On the one hand, parents are responsible for the children’s upbringing.
Also
Linking Words
, nowadays, we see a wide freedom in
this
Linking Words
 act and children do what they want and what they see in society.
For instance
Linking Words
, if a child bullies in school and tries to intimidate weak colleagues, it would be the parents’
responsible
Suggestion
responsibility
 to reeducate their child.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is an example that they are not guilty, and it is not necessary to discipline parents.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, sometimes parents do bad things
with
Suggestion
to
 or attend children, or they know what children do. These families come from poor areas and do not have
education
Suggestion
an education
, so that they give to the
next
Linking Words
 generation the same things,
such
Linking Words
 as crimes, rape or robberies.
Therefore
Linking Words
, here parents should be punished. As a conclusion, mostly I think that the children should be disciplined
instead
Linking Words
 of their parents, because it is their responsibility.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: