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Band 6.5

Many people prefer to watch foreign films rather than locally produced films. Why could this be? Should governments give more financial support to local film industries?

#people #films #be #governments #support #film #industries
It is true that
movies
 from other countries are quite popular among people rather than their regional cinemas. There could be several reasons for
this
 but helping local theatres by providing financial aid should not be a good idea to prompt them. To commence with,
this
 issue can be caused by different factors.
Firstly
, the invention of the internet brings exposure to people about different cultures throughout the world. Film production units in developed countries can spend more on technological gadgets, quality improvement, and story writers as compared to local film industries.
As a consequence
, foreigners can produce superior-quality pictures which can attract worldwide viewers.
Moreover
, They could be able to launch
movies
 in every country of the world which is very difficult for low-cost regional theatres. Apart from that these
movies
 are
also
 released after dubbing into local languages.
However
, governments should not invest their precious resources in these industries. The prominent reason is that they would not be able to compete with Hollywood or other mature production houses.
Hence
, it is just a waste of money that could be used for providing other necessary facilities like education, hospitals, transportation and many more.
In addition
, a well-educated individual could produce better
movies
 within a budget by inventing new technology. Even, most mature filmmakers
also
 did hard work to improve their movie quality without any help from higher authorities. In conclusion, I reiterate that the lack of technology, funds and screening can be a source of
this
 problem but financial support by governments is not a reasonable method to overcome
this
 issue.
Submitted by tajinder.panag on

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coherence cohesion
Consider varying your sentence structures more to enhance the readability and flow of your essay. Currently, the sentences tend to follow a similar pattern, which can make the text feel monotonous.
coherence cohesion
To improve your essay's coherence, try to create clearer connections between paragraphs. Use transitional phrases or sentences at the beginning and end of each paragraph to better guide the reader through your argument.
task achievement
Focus on expanding your arguments with more detailed examples. Providing more specific examples will strengthen your main points and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Ensure that your essay fully addresses all parts of the prompt. While you discuss why people prefer foreign films and the role of government support, there's room to explore the impact on local cultures and economies in more depth.
task achievement
You have presented a structured essay, but expanding the development of your ideas with additional examples and explanations could provide a more compelling response to the prompt. Consider including counterarguments or discussing potential consequences to add depth to your analysis.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Globalization
  • Cultural exchange
  • Cinematic expertise
  • Diverse narratives
  • Enriching cultural experience
  • Linguistic proficiency
  • Cinematography advancements
  • Government subsidies
  • Promote local talent
  • Economic sustainability
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