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Writing Samples
Band 6

The pie charts below show the most common advantages and disadvantages of Bowen Island, according to a survey of visitors. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie charts below show the most common advantages and disadvantages of Bowen Island, according to a survey of visitors. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The two charts of a survey show the most common merits and demerits of visiting Bowen
island
Use synonyms
according to
Linking Words
 visitors.
Overall
Linking Words
,
high
Correct article usage
the high
show examples
 cost of living is the primary disadvantage of visiting Bowen
Island
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, most of them feel that the local
people
Use synonyms
 are very friendly. On the whole,
people
Use synonyms
 felt that culture, accommodation, scenery and the
people
Use synonyms
 are the primary pros of the
Island
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, bad weather, high cost of living, entertainment and food are major cons of visiting the
island
Use synonyms
. Forty-two
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of the
people
Use synonyms
 said they like the hospitality of the
Island
Use synonyms
. Around one-
third
Linking Words
 of the
people
Use synonyms
 who completed the survey said that the scenery of the
Island
Use synonyms
 was magnificent. Visitors felt that culture was slightly better than the accommodation at 12% and 11% respectively. Half of the
people
Use synonyms
 who completed the survey agreed that the high cost of living is the primary drawback of the
island
Use synonyms
, followed by a quarter of participants
said
Correct pronoun usage
who said
show examples
 that the
Island
Use synonyms
 has entertainment problems.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, 15% of the respondents felt that the
Island
Use synonyms
 has bad weather.
Finally
Linking Words
,
one tenth
Add a hyphen
one-tenth
show examples
 of the participants had food problems
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
Island
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 75%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words island, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "show" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • According to the survey
  • Visitors reported
  • The pie charts show
  • The most common advantages/disadvantages
  • A significant proportion
  • A small percentage
  • In contrast
  • Notably
  • The largest segment
  • Similarly
  • On the other hand
  • A major advantage/disadvantage
  • To highlight
  • Overall effect
  • Impact the experience
  • In summary
  • Illustrates
  • Reflects
  • Highlights
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