Some people think that the Olympics is no longer important in the 21st century. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #olympics #st #century

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It is often argued that the Olympics

has lost

Suggestion

have lost

its importance. I completely agree with

this

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view as I think it is a waste of

money

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which could be used more wisely.

Moreover

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, in my opinion, countries should not compete with each other anymore as it raises aggression and racism.

Firstly

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, the

money

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spent on organising events

such

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as the Olympics should be spent in areas which are more meaningful and useful for society. For events like

this

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, huge amounts of public

money

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are spent by building stadiums, hotels and other equipment. Meanwhile, the

healthcare

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health care

system is about to collapse in many countries.

Moreover

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, people are dying of hunger and diseases every day, while we are competing with each other, having fun.

Then

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after the Olympics, we leave these buildings behind, never using them again.

For example

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, a couple of years ago, Brazil organised the Olympics, and a study showed that sports stadiums are not being used for anything at the moment.

Therefore

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, it was a waste of

money

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to build them for only one event.

Secondly

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, I strongly believe that nations should never compete against each other.

This

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whole ’who is the best’ attitude is extremely toxic and does not lead to equality.

In addition

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, one country should not think that they are better than others, not even after the Olympics.

Instead

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of aggression and hidden racism, we should treat each other with respect and organise events which connect us.

For instance

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, there is evidence that after sports competitions

such

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as rugby or football, fights are 50

per cent

a proportion in relation to a whole (which is usually the amount per hundred)

percent

more common than after any other events. To conclude, the Olympics is not useful at all since it is too

expensive and

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expensive, and

this

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money

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is needed in other areas.

In addition

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, it leads to hate and unnecessary

aggression which

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aggression, which

are not those kinds of things we need in the 21st century.

Submitted by aghmarina on Mon Sep 30 2019

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

311 words

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Some people think that the Olympics is no longer important in the 21st century. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Education of young people is highly prioritized in many countries. However, educating adults who cannot write or read is even more important and governments should spend more money on this. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that schools are too competitive and that this has a negative impact on children. Others believe the competitive environment encourages children to achieve.

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.