Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion.
In the modern era, several individuals believe that technological advancements have brought
people
closer to each other; however
, others argue that it has created friction among them. While
this
development helped the masses connect across the borders, it shortened the quality of time
spent with family members. This
essay discusses both views and my opinion at the end
.
Nowadays, various mobile applications express viewpoints on various issues and connect people
with similar interests. For instance
, Reddit, a social platform allows users to discuss their opinions on different current topics and chat with others having the same beliefs, accounting for more than 1.2 million daily active users. In this
way, numerous individuals spend a large proportion of their time
on such
apps they like to chat with the person having the same thinking on a topic. Therefore
, more and more people
tend to feel connected and spend their time
interacting on these apps.
Although
it created a sense of online connectivity, it reduced the quality of time
spent with family members. For example
, a study shows that a person spends 4 hours more on mobile phones than having interaction with parents, wife, or children every day. People
are interested in virtual interactions creating a gap in close relationships. Thus
, it creates a
friction among close Remove the article
apply
releatives
.
Correct your spelling
relatives
relative
To conclude
, technological developments have helped increase connectivity among people
and, at the same time
created a rift among families around the globe. In my opinion, the current use of technological innovations has greater drawbacks than its benefits. People
should limit the use of these and start having longer productive conversations face to face with their close relatives.Submitted by harshbhardwaj155 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your arguments are well-balanced. The essay could benefit from a slightly stronger defense of both viewpoints before concluding with your opinion.
coherence cohesion
Try to use more varied vocabulary and complex sentence structures to improve clarity and interest.
task achievement
Make sure your arguments are fully developed and supported with specific examples or evidence.
task achievement
Avoid repetition of phrases. For instance, 'various mobile applications express viewpoints on various issues' can be more clearly expressed.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
You provided relevant and specific examples to support your viewpoints.