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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph below shows the number of annual visits to Australia by overseas residents. The table below gives information on the country of origin where the visitors came from. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information given.

The line graph below shows the number of annual visits to Australia by overseas residents. The table below gives information on the country of origin where the visitors came from. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information given.
#line #visits #australia #residents #information #country #origin #visitors #report #university #lecturer
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The given line graph illustrates the
number
 of visits to
Australia
 by foreign
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
 per year
while
 the table specifies the visit per country that took place
form
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
 the
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
 1975 to 2005. There has been a
gradually
Change the adverb
gradual
show examples
 increase
Change preposition
in visit
show examples
visit
Fix the agreement mistake
visits
show examples
 from 1975 to 1985
while
 the
number
 goes doubled from 984 to 1995 as seen from the given chart.
However
, compared to 1975,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2005 the
number
 of foreign
visitors
 has
increase
Change the verb form
increased
show examples
 dramatically from 8.8 to 30.4 in 2005.
furthermore
, among all the given six
countries
 Japan and South Korea
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 the greatest
number
 of
visitors
 to
Australia
 in 2005 compared to 1975 as mentioned in
table
Add an article
the table
show examples
, South Korea:
2.9
Add a missing verb
was 2.9
show examples
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 1975 and 9.1 in 2005; Japan
3.2
Add a missing verb
was 3.2
show examples
 in 1975 to 12.0 in 2005. Meanwhile,
china
Change the capitalization
China
show examples
 is lying at the bottom with the lowest
visitors
 of
Australia
Change preposition
in Australia
show examples
 up to just 0.3 million people which gradually increase
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to 0.8 in 2005 as compared to other
countries
mention
Change the form of the verb
mentioned
show examples
 in the table.
overall
, compared to 1975 the
number
 of foreign
visitors
 has been increasing, reaching a quite high
number
 of
visitors
 of 32 million to
Australia
while
 having a majority of
visitors
 from south
korea
Change the capitalization
Korea
show examples
 and japan.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
contrary
Correct article usage
the contrary
show examples
, the least
number
 of
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
 are from china, but it
safe
Add a missing verb
is safe
show examples
 to say that
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of the visit to
Australia
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 from Asia
countries
 than western
countries
.
Submitted by bilalmyousuf4 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, australia, visitors, countries with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
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